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There are times that being a medium sucks and I wish I could be “oblivious” to Spirit like the majority of our population. This week was one of those times.
Over the past few weeks, I’d had an awful wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. In addition to the feeling, I’ve “known” there would be a death in the family on or around Thanksgiving. Catch is… I didn’t know who. Logically I thought Don and I were going to lose one of our remaining grandparents – my Nana (she’s 91!) has had a series of mini strokes since this summer, my husband’s Mom-Mom is in rehab after breaking her back (osteoporosis), and his grandmother’s husband, Bill, is in a nursing home after a series of strokes. Each has a limited life span, so it made sense that it would likely be one of them. With this in mind, I had prepared myself and my husband mentally for a loss of one of them. I’d even mentioned to several friends, “I have a bad feeling. Both my grandfathers died on Thanksgiving, I think I may be losing another grandparent this holiday.” As it turns out, I wasn’t wrong about the feeling. I was wrong, however, about the person. On Wednesday evening, my stepbrother committed suicide. I wasn’t particularly close to him – we saw each other on the holidays and that was about it. But there has been a tremendous amount of guilt. I KNEW something was going to happen. And I’m usually able to use these feelings to help guide other people. Why couldn’t I use the feeling to help my own family? The reason is… I probably wasn’t meant to. As I tell many clients, I’m not going to get anything that you don’t have the control to change. And I know, there was nothing anything could have done for my stepbrother. That being said, knowing there was going to be a loss… Don and I were prepared for the shock. Guess I won’t be turning in my “gift” just yet….
Joanna
12/2/2013 01:03:59 pm
I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard no matter who it is whether you are prepared or not. Best wishes and I will see you on Friday. If you ever want to talk I am always available.
Rev Dawn Lynn
12/9/2013 07:47:53 am
Thank you Joanna for your kind words! Hope you are feeling better :)
Amber
12/3/2013 05:27:08 am
I too have lost a relative by the means of suicide. I am deeply sorry for your and your family's loss. Sometimes we are not supposed to understand the way things happen in life. It is a very sad thing to go through, especially when you get feelings that something is coming. Have comfort in knowing that your brother-in-law is no longer in pain and that you have nothing to do with others choices. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that at some point you will find acceptance in this experience.
Rev Dawn Lynn
12/9/2013 07:49:23 am
Amber - thank you so much for your kind words. I do believe that sometimes we are just not to know. I am sorry for your loss as well, it is definitely not an easy situation but acceptance, as your noted, is key.
Rev Dawn Lynn
12/9/2013 07:51:34 am
As a follow-up to this posting. I would first like to thank you all for the loving messages and support that has been offered to myself and my family. I would also like to add, since this posting, Bill (my husband's step grandfather and one of the individuals we thought might go) has passed. While saddened by his loss, we are grateful that he like my step brother is in a better place. Comments are closed.
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AuthorDawn Lynn is an EveryDay medium. She lives and breathes via her intuition, which as a fourth generation intuitive from a family of Spiritualists came easily. Her abilities became apparent in early childhood and were cultured by a supportive family. Through her Blogs and Vlogs, she wants to help you become the EveryDay medium too. Categories
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