Just Because I Have Faith Doesn't Mean I Don't Worry

​Being a spiritual being in a physical body is HARD. Logically, I know that my happiness is not wrapped up in the things I own or the awards I receive. And, I want to pursue my passions and fill my life with experiences. Unfortunately, living on the physical plan those pursuits are often stifled by my worries about practicalities. I worry, “Should I really be spending this money on a trip? What if the furnace goes?” or “Aren’t I being selfish taking days off? Shouldn’t I be working around my clients schedules? Am I losing business because I’m being too inflexible?” Which of course equates to lost revenue, which in turn makes me worry, “Will I be able to pay my bills?”
 
Each month I do and in my heart and soul, I know that these worries are foolish. I (and my family) have always had what we’ve needed. Most of the time we’ve also had the things we’ve wanted!! But, these worries linger and make me slow to commit myself to anything monetarily (especially in business) until I see or understand the return on investment (ROI).
 
As I look back to last year, I see this was the case when I was approached by my dear friend Judy from Awakenings. Awakenings, a Spiritual Center which had been housed in the Roycroft, was growing. To facilitate this growth, it became apparent to her that she need a larger location. In order to afford that and in a desire to cultivate a community, she hoped to sublet some of the space to practitioners.
 
I was honored to be one of the first people she approached. And my intuition led me to commit immediately. Which I regretted as I thought on it. The more I thought about it, the more I began to second guess my intuition. All I could think was: Could I afford the office? I hadn’t budgeted for it. And what about child care? Who would watch the baby? If we had to put her in daycare, what costs would be associated with that? Again something I hadn’t budgeted for. Not only that, would clients come and see me in the Southtowns? I’d always been located north of Buffalo… did I have the clients to support the office there?
 
The worry grew and grew. But, I had committed and wasn’t going to back out of that. Judy was now counting on me as one of her renters! I had to be fair to her.
 
Then an opportunity presented itself. A friend, who was also considering moving to WillowLight (the new name of the community), mentioned she had some of the same concerns regarding the space. After talking to my husband about it, we asked her “What do you think about sharing space?”
 
It seemed to make sense and she jumped on it.
 
We moved in together. Divided up the week. Brought things in and decorated our parts of the room.
 
And at first, this arrangement seemed to be going well. I was working a lot. My days were filled with clients. I was enjoying having the time to work.
 
But, then something was off. I didn’t feel like I could completely settle in…
 
And then, one of my clients said something. She was at a reading at my office and commented, “You know, this is really nice and all. But, I think I prefer your home office. It feels more you than this does.”
 
At that moment, I looked around and realized the office really had become a statement of my office mate, not me. Not that I was complaining, she was a lovely decorator… but it was her taste and a reflection of her. I realized the space wasn’t really mine. I was sharing it, after all. In that moment, I realized I really wanted my own space. Someplace to fill with MY energy.
 
I wasn’t going to push my colleague out. I had signed a lease and committed to sharing the space. AND it had been my idea. But, I decided when the opportunity to have my own space came along, I was going to seize it. Especially since I knew after reviewing my financials the office was paying for itself.
 
It was right after the New Year that opportunity to have my own office did present itself.
 
During a conversation between my colleague and our landlord, she revealed to the landlord she had been pondering looking for a way to get out of the lease. Judy encouraged her to speak with me as she couldn’t let her out of the lease unless I was willing to absorb her portion. Judy also knew that it was a concept I would be open to.
 
And I was.
 
As of February 1st, I’m excited to say the office is ALL MINE. And this time, I have no concerns. Except, perhaps what color to paint the space!
 
Spirit presented me with the opportunity, not once but TWICE. They also provided me with the evidence to sway my vote. Fortunately, things that are meant to be are not just on Spirit’s time, but also on ours.

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