A fact few people realize about me is – I am legally blind.
When I say that, people often do a double take and say… “WHAAAAAAAAT?”
That response makes me smile. Why? Because it means I’m being successful in not allowing my disability to limit me. And quite honestly, while it is an annoyance, there are much worse things to be. The biggest limitation I face is that I can’t drive.
The reason this is an annoyance as opposed to a blockage is primarily due to the type of vision I lack. My vision straight on, while a little blurry, isn’t terrible. I CAN see without my glasses, although I choose not to. It’s not comfortable. What I don’t see, even WITH glasses, is in my peripheral. I have tunnel vision.
It wasn’t always this way. It is a result of a car accident that changed my life nearly fifteen years ago (click here for more about that). But for all sakes and purposes, this is how I always remember my life being.
After my accident, the visual disruption wasn’t identified at first. There was a lot going on. I was adapting to my new norm and faking being okay. After being discovered by my eye doctor, Dr. O’Connor of Aurora Optometric, he had me undergo intensive vision therapy that included stimulating the eyes and brain with different colored lights (goes back to a practice of the ancient Egyptians!!) and eye exercises. It opened my field, but not enough to be safe on the road.
It was something I had to accept. Honestly, at that point in time, I was grateful my vision was proving to be the only long term effect from the car accident. So, if you are beginning to feel sorry for me, DON’T.
It hasn’t always been easy, but I have come to view the disability as a blessing rather than a curse. Why? A number of reasons exist. I could be funny (and truthful) and say because my husband and I only have one car, we save money on car insurance and car payments. Only having one car does have its benefits, besides the cost. Because I don’t drive, my husband treks me all over town. That time is the time many people spend alone in their own car commuting to and from work or running errands. I get to spend that time (for better or worse) with my husband. During this time we talk, which I feel strengthens our relationship. It also means we do A LOT together. From grocery shopping, going to doctor appointments, etc. We are always in the know, and we know the other is there to support the other.
I also attribute my lack of vision with my increased ability to connect spiritually and psychically. If you’ve read my blog, you know mediumship has always been a part of me (click here to see where it all started), but after my accident I became much more attuned. Recognizing energies was part of how I adapted to my environment with the lack of vision. It was something I had to do. Had I not, I would have been startled all the time. In the store, in restaurants, etc. People would come up behind me and because I didn’t see them, I didn’t know they were there. By paying attention psychically, I was more aware of people. Having to do this, I have no doubt has helped me become better at what I do.
So while my lack of vision is an annoyance, and I know my husband sometimes wishes I could drive myself to my house parties (especially when they go long) or be able to run errands, overall it’s a blessing. And yes, I’m making lemonade out of lemons… but is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. I’m working with what I’ve got!
Next time you are faced with a situation that is less than ideal, think about what opportunities are being opened up to you. Chances are, there are a lot of blessings hidden beneath the challenges.
During a conversation with an intuitive friend recently, because I value her insight and it’s really hard to be objective about oneself, I asked her if she minded checking into my energy on a situation I had been struggling with.
Upon observing my energy, she confirmed the feelings I was having. Which was comforting. Unfortunately, like myself who felt that “an important piece of the puzzle” has yet to be revealed, I was left still pondering action steps. For impatient and action-oriented me, this was discouraging.
After giving me her gut feelings and seeing the slight disappointment cross my face, she asked for a little more information. She hoped to put a little more context around and confirm the messages she was receiving.
I was only too happy to oblige.
Once I did, part of me wished I hadn’t. With the additional information, my dear friend went deep into friend mode and, rather than providing objective or gut feelings, she broke into a long monologue on how I could “fix” the situation. This soliloquy included coaching on how to apply energetic techniques to improve the energy around me and manifest my desires…. the same techniques I present and coach my students in during my basics of mediumship classes.
At first I smiled. She has a big heart and was trying to help. But, as the one-sided conversation continued, I found myself annoyed and physically stiffening and rolling my eyes.
Why? My ego was rearing its ugly head. My ego was insulted. It became the evil voice in my head was saying things such as– “Doesn’t she know I teach this stuff?” and “Of course, I’m doing it. I’m not a dummy…” and the worst, “Well that’s a stupid technique, especially if not applied properly. What does she really know”
Recognizing the ugliness that was growing inside me and disliking myself for it, I took a moment to take a deep breath. When I find myself in situations like this, I ALWAYS take a deep breath. Why? Because whether it’s to ground, center, protect or allow (in this case to center) it always brings my awareness back to the present and, most importantly, ME. By bringing my awareness to the present and to me, I can change the one thing I have control over – how I respond to things.
Upon breathing out the negativity, that’s exactly what I did. I stopped, reevaluated and asked myself “Why was I so upset?”
Well, I didn’t get an answer I liked. I was upset because of my own insecurities. Recognizing this allowed the kind Dawn I aspire to be to walk back in. With words reminding me “it wasn’t fair to be upset at her, I had asked her for insight after all” and, “she was trying to be helpful” the evil voice was silenced.
This moment of reflection also facilitated a teaching moment for myself. That teaching moment reminded me of a few things:
First and most importantly, it humbled me. I was reminded I still have to practice centering in a continual effort towards releasing the fears and insecurities that are harbored deep within.
The second, I was reminded how important it is to remain objective. If you remember, I mentioned I provided my friend with very little details of the situation. I do this to my intuitive friends all the time (they probably hate it). I’ll say something like, “how do you feel about the business opportunity that I have presented?” No more details as I want to know their off the cuff gut feeling. Why would I do such a thing? The more someone knows about a situation, the less objective they can be. If you’ve ever tried to forget something you overheard and weren’t supposed to know, you KNOW that’s impossible to do. Once someone is no longer objective, they do what my dear friend did. They search their memory banks for tools they have acquired over time and offer them to fix the situation. As this comes from their memory banks and their experience, it is their advice not inspired by Spirit.
And lastly, I remembered that sometimes advice someone offers is less about the recipient and more about the giver. It’s where the adage, “we teach what we need to learn,” came from. Perhaps she needed to hear those words herself.
In preparing this blog, my husband reminded me of one more lesson in all this. Even though we may already know something, doesn’t mean that we don’t need to be reminded.
I had a reading about a month ago. The tarot reader was very good and touched on a lot of things that were on my mind. In the time since when predications are seemingly coming true, I am forced to consider the following – Where these events really going to happen or because I heard things a certain why am I, inadvertently, making things happen?
As a professional reader, I know that the future is a moving target and very few of life’s events are “in the stars.” Rather, I know that we are guided to and through various circumstances to help us learn “lessons.” The lessons are what destiny is made of, not the path. It is why I always tell my clients, “If there is something I am saying you don’t like, let your guides know. YOUR future is in YOUR hands.”
In the reading I had, there were a lot of predications… and warnings. What was lacking, as I think is in most readings, was the why. Which is ok, I get it. If we knew the why, we wouldn’t have to be here on earth any longer.
But I digress, back to the point of this blog: self-fulfilling prophecies.
So you see, during the reading, I was advised to beware of a few individuals. She, in great detail mind you, described a woman a little older than myself. This woman would have dark hair and dark eyes with an olive complexion. This woman was in very close physical proximity to me. The reader believed due to the fact the woman looked like me and was so close to my surroundings that she was a family member. The second individual she described was a loud, balding, heavyset man with dark eyes. She felt he was further removed and didn’t quite understand why he could cause me grief, but he could. Finally, she described a middle-aged woman with dark hair who appeared bubbly and unassuming, but was 1a greater threat than I gave her credit.
Of course, I immediately (right or wrong) jumped to conclusions as to who these individuals could be.
Prior to this reading, I had some concerns about these individuals, but other than I fleeting thought I didn’t concern myself much figuring anything that was felt was a reflection of them not me. After the reading, however, concern became all consuming. And my brain began to ponder, what are they plotting? How could they hurt me? And most importantly, what did I do to them??
And then signs started popping up that perhaps these individuals were of concern and that they were sending, intentionally or not, negative energy my way.
The first sign came the week I got back. My husband was making idle conversation with an acquaintance of ours during which, the man, whom we didn’t know our acquaintance knew, popped up in conversation. Out of the blue! Odd!!
Also out of the blue, my mother emails me to discuss one of the woman I identified. She asked if she was giving me a hard time or affecting me in any way. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I gave her the low-down. And of course, because my mom is a little psychic, I took this as another sign.
Then there was all the unlucky occurrences that began to surround me. I smashed BOTH my work laptops. My cell phone case chipped. The one time I took my tarot cards and timer out of my office, I forgot them at home. That same day, I stopped for tea at the local Tim Hortons. Not only did I get the wrong drink, but it spilled on me THREE times. The examples go on and on.
The more the instances continued, the more paranoid I got. Any little thing set me off and I was beginning to convince myself that there has bad juju coming my way.
As I spiraled, I finally I stopped myself and took a step back. What was I thinking? And more importantly, what was I allowing.
You see, I don’t really believe that anyone can have an impact on me without me realizing it (which I obviously was). As I tell my students, the only bad juju that affects you is that which you allow. And it obviously wasn’t my guides or Spirit trying to get my attention, because while these were annoyances they weren’t a two-by-four across the head to get me to change direction.
And it all started when I had the reading. The reading brought to the surface an unconscious fear. Once at the surface it manifested itself. For in trying to prevent the negativity from these individuals, I was looking for evidence to support that position. If you look hard enough, you can find anything; and I did, resulting in a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think I’d know better!
Since I have made that realization, a lot of the “bad luck” has stopped. This further supports my hypothesis that I was the culprit all along.
Do I blame the reader? No. She just presented the information, and the individuals she described may very well be sending negative energy my way. But, it’s not what she said, it’s what I did with the information. I allowed it to be a chink in my armor as opposed to using it to strengthen my resolve and protective bubble. You better believe THAT has changed.
When I open my reading room door to greet my client, it is always nice to see the familiar face of returning clients. This is evidence to me that I have done a good job.
It is just as exciting to see an unfamiliar face as well. For these fresh, new faces, I always ask if they have had a reading before. Why? I’m curious and I like to know where someone is coming from.
It is exciting for me when I have someone who has never had a reading before. There is an excitement in them that is unmatched. For people who have had readings before, there are many who have had fabulous ones and I hope I live up to their expectations. And then there are those who have had readings before, but were disappointed. For these individuals, my heart always breaks. They are searching for something. That desire, that need, has gone unfulfilled. Yet, they are unwilling to give up. Hence them sitting in my seat. No pressure, right?? It is for these clients, and my profession, that I want to shine and prove there are good readers out there.
Because unfortunately, there ARE bad readers out there. If you remember Miss Cleo, you know there are readers whose sole purpose is to make money. These individuals will often have a ‘script’ and ask everyone, “Who is Mary or Margaret?” or “What about John?”
Fortunately, these bad readers are few and far between. Most readers are in the profession for the right reason, they want to help people. The majority of readers I know have huge hearts and truly care for their clients. That doesn’t mean they are always good and accurate readers.
If you have a so-so reading here are some things to consider.
Experience: As more and more individuals are discovering their intuition, more and more individuals are taking classes to assist them in developing their psychic or mediumship skills. After taking a class, two, or a whole program that “certifies” them as a psychic medium, many have the heart-felt desire to help individuals with their new found “gift.” These newly minted psychics and mediums hang up their shingle and open for business providing readings.
Unfortunately, a class, two or even a whole program doesn’t always prepare the individual to offer high quality, professional readings. They may have a skill, but not a talent. Let’s liken this to photographers. With a camera on every phone, anyone can look through the back of a camera lens and take a photo. My two year old does all the time! But, these snapshots don’t capture the beauty of a moment like a photographer would. Same thing with readers. It is a talent, and not always something that can be taught.
Fortunately, the longer someone has been doing readings, the more skilled they become – just like the photographer who knows where to look for that perfect shot. Does that mean that the person who has been doing readings for 30 years is always better than the person who has been doing it six months? No. There are some very talented newbies. But, chances are if someone has been around for a while, they have some talent.
Grace: If you have had a reading, you know that they can be emotional. I’d project that at least 85% of my clients tear up if not break into tears at some point during a session. Navigating these emotions and creating an environment of love is part of a reader’s job. And a good reading (at least in my opinion) should be healing. This takes some finesse.
There are some readers who disregard the importance presenting messages delicately and have chosen not to cultivate a finesse. Instead, like a bull in a china shop, messages are delivered in a blunt or flippant manner with disregard for the client’s feelings. I cringe when I hear an individual proudly proclaim they aren’t going to sugar coat anything because the client has to face the truth. If no one else is going to tell them, I will.
Now, this doesn’t mean that a reader should lie to the sitter and tell them what they want to hear. That doesn’t do any good either. But, disregard for their clients’ feelings is unacceptable. Without encouragement, they felt their world was coming to an end.
If this has happened, note that the information may not be as bad as you think. Readers present information in the manner they view the world. If they see the world pessimistically, that is what you are going to get. Think about what they said and how else it could be interpreted.
Ego: As just mentioned, readers see the world through their lens. We have our hopes and dreams. Our favorite places and foods. We readers also have bad days. We get annoyed by our spouses and children. Frustrated with insurance companies, contractors and bad drivers. Unfortunately, when these bad days come, some readers are not good at separating their own issues from the issues their clients face. If a reader is not doing a good job of removing their own thoughts and feelings from a situation, the client is likely to get the reader’s opinion not Spirit’s. For example, there is a colleague of mine that, before I refer anyone to her, I check to see what’s going on in her life. Because when life is good for her, she gives AMAZING readings. They are accurate, funny and inspiring. When she is having personal struggles, particularly in regards to relationships, the readings she gives lack luster and everyone is up to no good.
In these situations, my recommendation is that you trust your own intuition and look for the signs around you. If something doesn’t seem right, if there isn’t evidence to support the assertions, it probably isn’t being translated correctly.
Personality: It should come as no surprise that every reader is different. We are unique individuals, with different experiences and backgrounds. Our training is different. What led us to becoming readers is different. But one thing that is for sure is we are all a little kooky and quirky. Is it a surprise? We talk to Spirit all day.
Because of our quirks, it is important that YOU resonate and are comfortable with us. A statement many clients make that always makes me laugh is: “You’re Dawn Lynn? But you’re so normal looking.” That’s what I strive for – that the client doesn’t see me as much different than themselves. You should look for that in a reader. The more you relate to them as a person, the more likely you will relate to the message they are passing you as it is more likely they will speak your language.
So if you’ve only had a so-so reading, ask yourself… did you feel comfortable with the reader? If not, that’s probably one of the reasons it was only so-so. To get a better reading next time, my recommendation is to look at websites of a few readers then choose the reader that you wouldn’t mind having a drink or coffee with. Why do this? The reader you choose is going to be peering into your soul, talking to your loved ones, and seeing you at your most vulnerable state. If you wouldn’t want to spend the time it takes to have a cup of coffee with any of them, they aren’t the reader for you.
Accuracy: Perhaps you had a reading where the details provided were vague or off the mark. This could be due to experience, as the reader isn’t versed in obtaining detailed information or has a hard time translating it. Or, it could be that the source of the message is being vague and cryptic. For example, I thank the heavens when a loved one steps in and nails the details. Whereas, when a loved one comes in and gives me one word answers I know I have to work a little harder. It is their personalities! In fact, there are even cases that loved ones “lie.” But I liken it to this example. My husband INSISTS he is 6 feet tall. Well, according to the doctor, he is really 5’10” (and shrinking). If he were in Spirit he would insist the same thing, they don’t change. Consider who your loved one was.
Or perhaps you had a reading where predicted outcomes didn’t come to pass. It is important to know that the future is a moving target, and YOU have control over YOUR future. In fact, hearing what is likely to come begins to change what will be. When a reader looks at what is coming, it’s like taking a snapshot and predicting the weather. One can be good at doing that, but that doesn’t mean that something won’t come and change the situation.
Expectations: And, finally, what were your expectations for the reading? Sometimes the expectations are unrealistic. If you are looking for a single phrase or item, you may not get it. Readers aren’t mind readers. Nor are we magic. We are just people like each of you. We translate best we can, and hopefully do a good job of it.
Hope this helps you with a so-so past reading and perhaps get a better one next time around!!
Dawn Lynn is an EveryDay medium. She lives and breathes via her intuition, which as a fourth generation intuitive from a family of Spiritualists came easily. Her abilities became apparent in early childhood and were cultured by a supportive family. Through her Blogs and Vlogs, she wants to help you become the EveryDay medium too.