2016: Lessons Learned

2016 was an interesting year, to say the least! Over the course, there were lots of UPS and lots of DOWNS. Throughout it all, there have been lots of lessons. Here are a few of the most important lessons I learned.
 
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Don’t Be too Rigid
I like a schedule. I thrive when I have goals. I love order. But, in 2016 I learned to take these when I can get them and use them as guidelines. With a strong-willed toddler, I’ve had to. With my baby girl, if it is not something she wants to do – forget it as it will be more painful if I try to force it.
 
This lesson has been a hard one to learn. There have been many days I cringe, want to scream "JUST DO IT ALREADY", and force the issue. But I can’t, and I don’t. And, because I don’t and instead, live in the moment, I have had amazing moments and amazing realizations.
 
These moments are both with my daughter, but also with my career as I have tried to be more fluid with that. I’m having fun with it and it has birthed amazing ideas that will come to fruition in 2017 (just you wait)! I’m so grateful for this.
 
 
Respect people for who they are AND try to meet them where THEY are
A friend of mine once told me, “Don’t place your standards upon another person. Rather, acknowledge who they are for both their strengths and weaknesses. Expect their strengths, but more importantly expect their weaknesses. If you do that, relationship issues will be a thing of the past.”
 
At the time this was shared with me, I recognized it as sage advice and heeded it. And my friend was correct, by recognizing that people are who they are and not taking their action personally, relationships were easy. For example, I worked with a woman who was sharp tongued, slightly judgmental and DID NOT like being told what to do. Several colleagues, after being hurt by her comments, asked me how it was she and I had such a good relationship and how we didn’t butt heads. I told them because I recognized that was who she was and I respected the space she needed.
 
Because of that respect, we got along, coexisted and were friendly. But we remained acquaintances never became friends.
 
In 2016, I found that I was using this trick with family and friends as well as with acquaintances. And while this tool worked wonderfully with acquaintances, it fell short with loved ones. Why? Because we weren’t making a deeper connection.
 
This became increasingly apparent with the relationship with my husband. This year was challenging for him as he actively worked through psychological traumas which made him at worst a bear, at best a grump. The discomfort and tension was uncomfortable. In order to cope, I used this trick. WORST IDEA EVER. Why? It made things worst.
 
Things got to a point we embarked on couples counseling. During one of our first sessions, our counselor Bret introduced us to the concept of Languages of Love. What we learned is that we were approaching the other with OUR language of love, not THEIRS. Soon as we understood where the other was coming from and spoke the other’s language, we were able to offer constructive (and even critical) advice to one another. As a result, our relationship strengthened.
 
Being aware of this concept, I was able to take it and apply it to my practice. I’ve found myself attempting to meet my clients where they are and speak to them with deeper candor. I hope this has made me a better reader.
 
 
The Tower isn’t a the WORST Tarot card EVER…
Up until this year, I have HATED the Tower Card. Why? Just LOOK at it. A tower being struck by lightening with flames coming out the windows as individuals jump for their lives onto the rocks below. The imagery alone is disturbing. See that pop up in a reading, who wouldn’t be scared?
 
But beyond just the imagery, the meaning of the card isn’t much better. The Tower represents sudden upheaval and tumultuous change. Great… I don’t know about you, but when I think about sudden change I think of pain and discomfort. And to me the imagery supports that interpretation.
 
As a result, up until this year, whenever the Tower card would appear in a reading I would shudder and I’d try to conveniently ignore it. Not anymore! In 2016, the Tower transformed (for me) from the disruptive event to the a-ha moment, the moment when everything clicks into place and an individual’s life is forever changed.
 
What does this a-ha moment look like? Let me use a silly example. When I was in elementary school I struggled with learning decimals. This was new to me, as I’d always been good at math, but despite my and my father’s effort, I just couldn’t get it. And then suddenly I did. I didn’t do anything different. It’s not like there had suddenly been a new way of presenting the information that demonstrated decimals to me. Everything just suddenly made sense. After that moment, I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t get it before and couldn’t not get it any longer. That moment where everything makes sense is what the Tower card means to me.
 
What instigated the change? Perhaps it is because in my own life I am realizing that change isn’t bad scary. Rather it’s exciting scary. I’m seeing the lessons and opportunities in life rather than the struggles, and perhaps that is why the card is evolving for me. And perhaps it is so that I can pass that excitement and empowerment on to my clients as well.
 
 
Guides are Smarter than I thought
And lastly, I’ve gained additional (if that is possible) respect for the work our Spirit Guides do for us.
 
I never cease to be amazed with how they step up to the plate and lend a helping hand when requested. I saw this all the time when I was pregnant with their parking spot assistance. But it was always something I thought I had to ask for, sort of like my husband… I know I have to ask him to clean the bathroom as he rarely does from his own initiative.
 
Believing this, I’ve often told people that if they want to manifest a desire into their life, make a list and send it to Spirit. Don’t only make a list, but make it specific. Be very clear what you want. I’ve heard stories of women who have asked for a partner, only to get a gay man to enter their life being everything they ever wanted… except the sexual attraction.
 
Now don’t get me wrong, I still think this is a valuable and important piece of advice. But, being too specific doesn’t allow for the universe to work its magic.
 
I witnessed this in 2016 when a dear friend made a six page, front and back, list of what she wanted in a partner. And her guides provided… that individual walked into my friend’s life and they had a spectacular romance, until they didn’t. There were some fundamental issues between the two that, perhaps in an effort to “fill” my friend’s order, the guides had to accommodate.
 
In review of that, I realized our Guides know us better than we, or at least I, give them credit. I also realized I need to trust that they know what is in my best interest. Amazingly, as I have done that, opportunities I would have missed otherwise have blossomed.
 
So many lessons… And in retrospect, they are simple and I should have realized them sooner. But I’m glad I didn’t, because for me it demonstrates the continued growth of my soul. And more importantly, it demonstrates that I still have more to learn. That’s why my soul is here after all.
 
Hope you all have a wonderful 2017. What did you learn in 2016? 

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