Having been an intuitive child and knowing that ALL children are extremely connected with the Spirit world, I was mentally prepared to have an intuitive child. I thought it would be easy… I’m the EXPERT after all.
What a joke!!
While I may have been mentally prepared knowing I had tools in my toolkit to help my child embrace her intuition, I recently came to the realization I am NOT emotionally prepared to raise an intuitive child. I also have a new appreciation for parents who are struggling with intuitive kids, who I lovingly call kids that see sparkles.
What brought on this realization?
It was a normal day. My husband, daughter and I were in the car taking a route we ALWAYS take. You see we live just off Harlem Road in Snyder, if we want to go almost anywhere in Buffalo the easiest route is hopping on the highway at the 33/90 interchange. From this interchange we can go east or west, north or south. We take this route all the time so drive down the stretch of Harlem at least once a day.
Why is this route important? If you are familiar with it, you know that this route takes you past Mount Calvary Cemetery. This is a sizable cemetery and as an aside it is where several of my family members have been laid to rest.
Now that you have the background, to the story. As I said, it was a normal day. We were taking my daughter to her sitter’s and I was going to my East Aurora office. My husband and I were sitting in the front seat discussing the days to-do list. Everything was routine… that is until we hit the cemetery and an ear-piercing shriek came from the back seat.
If you’ve watched some of my videos you know my daughter likes to interrupt when she is not the center of attention (she’s 2!! What do you expect?), so when the shriek came from the back seat I initially thought she wanted us to pay attention and talk to her. In an order to appease her, I addressed her and continued the conversation with my husband.
This usually calms her. It didn’t in this situation.
Instead, she let out another shriek and then started babbling incoherently to herself. Unable to understand what she was saying as she was talking faster than normal and her pronunciation (again, she’s 2) isn’t always great, I assumed she was ok and turned back to the conversation (we had a busy day scheduled and lots on the agenda to discuss).
But soon I realized this wasn’t a normal conversation. My daughter was getting more and more anxious and louder and louder. Then a couple words became clear. “Ghost!!! No. Go way, Ghost! You bring Rodney? No? Go way Ghost.”
My husband and I looked at each other. Each of us were white and dumb-founded. And then we looked out the window and realized that we were driving past the cemetery.
I was not prepared for this. Momma bear mode kicked in. I wanted to protect my baby. So, I pulled my tools out of my toolkit and immediately bubbled the car, asked my guides to step in and serve as the bouncers, tuned in to see what ghosts that were in the car and then forcefully instructed them to get out (with a few choice words about not bothering my daughter ever again).
But in the midst of doing that I stopped. I realized, “wait, baby girl is protecting herself.” She didn’t need me to do it for her AND more importantly me doing it for her didn’t empower her to take care of herself. She NEEDS to know how to protect herself. I’m not going to be with her all the time after all. So just as quickly as I jumped into action, I stopped. Instead, rather than protecting her I encouraged her to tell the ghosts to go away.
As a mother, the time it took to pass the cemetery (which as it just so happens, we decided to go all the way down to Walden that day to stop for a coffee) was the longest few minutes I’ve had in a while. Time creeped. But she (and I) made it through. And she is better because of it. More importantly, I have confidence that next time a spirit decides to pop in baby girl is equipped to deal with it.
Just like me, it is likely your kids will have an experience you want to help them with. Be it with a spirit, with a friend or the playground bully. They, like my baby girl, will get through it.
If you find your kid is encountering spirits or things you can’t see, remind them that they have the power. Encourage them. Don’t show them your fear or anxiety, it will only cause them to doubt themselves. They are stronger than you think, and you are probably like me, trained them well for their encounters!
Like I said at the beginning, I was prepared mentally… but emotionally, wow! Being a parent is hard!!
Last week Lily Dale opened for the season. For those of you not familiar, Lily Dale is a Spiritualist community located in Cassadaga, NY known for its mediums. The Lily Dale season lasts from the last week of June through Labor Day. During these nine to twelve weeks, the Lily Dale Assembly (similar to a town board) brings in speakers and lecturers holding classes on metaphysical topics. They offer spiritual healings and they perform public demonstrations of mediumship all for the purpose of introducing and educating people of spiritualism and spiritual topics.
Lily Dale holds a special place in my family’s heart as my grandfather’s uncle, Norman Mootz, was a medium with connections to “the Dale.” As a family, we take the road trip down about once a year. Last week my mom and two aunts made their yearly trek.
Each has their favorite medium that, over the years, they have carefully selected and they see. Additionally, each had their individual hopes and expectations for their reading. Let’s take a look at how they differ and how it affected their readings.
Aunt A. She has a long standing favorite reader. This reader is soft spoken and gentle which brings comfort to my aunt. She goes into the reading with one thing in mind, hearing from her mother. My grandmother has been gone for more than forty years, but the wound is still very raw for my aunt. Each year my aunt goes hoping to hear from for her and obtain some closure. Unfortunately, my grandmother rarely (if ever) makes an appearance. Instead, my grandfather (the loud mouth he is) comes in to dominate the conversation. Such was the case last week. And while this time, her mom was present – she again was disappointed she didn’t hear more from her.
Let’s talk about Aunt B. Unlike the aunt I just spoke about who went in to communicate with her mom, this aunt was less interested in hearing from her loved ones. Instead, she was hoping to receive guidance regarding some challenging circumstances in her life. Unfortunately, she did not receive the information she was hoping for. Instead was informed the future had to play out and she couldn’t control the outcome. I’m not sure who she saw, but it should also be known that some Lily Dale mediums (as Spiritualists) don’t provide predications as loved ones only know what they know.
Finally, my mom. Let me first state that admittedly I only have her perspective. She is the one who shared the experiences of the day. But from what she recounted to me, she had the best experience. Family members she hoped for showed up. Family members she never knew also showed up. Why? She went in without any preconceived notions. There wasn’t one person she wanted to hear from. She didn’t have burning questions with answers she needed to hear. Instead she went in with an open mind and as a result she walked away happy. She was even more pleased when sharing her experience with Aunt B to discover “Ruth,” a family member on her mother’s side she could not place, did in fact exist.
So what are the take-aways? How can you use this example to get a better reading?
Being in the right place at the right time is something I love about being a medium. It makes my life easier as I don’t have to take extra time to run from here to there and coordinate efforts.
Let’s use this example that occurred yesterday to demonstrate the point.
As the Book Release Party is just around the corner (June 29th – RSVP here), I was excited when my flyers and postcards announcing the event arrived from the printer in yesterday’s mail. With these in hand and the book at the printer, I can send out press kits and invitations, and promote the heck out of this event. I’m planning on an EPIC party.
One of the first places I needed to get advertising out was at WillowLight. After looking at the calendar and seeing that there are several events before I planned on being in the office next, I decided my husband and I would swing by before we grabbed my daughter from the sitter.
On the way down the road, my husband asked, “Do you want to stop at WillowLight first? Or, would you prefer we run our errands near the mall and then hit the offices before we grab Baby Girl?”
It didn’t matter to me, so my husband decided stating, “I don’t know why, but I think we should do our shopping first.”
This was an opportune decision. When we pulled into WillowLight, we were surprised to see a full parking lot as there was nothing on the calendar. Turns out, Buffalo Underground had a pet communicator in and the class had just let out. Perfect timing as it allowed me to bump into Judy Hartke (the owner of WillowLight) AND Melanie (Buffalo Underground). Both were people I wanted to get the invitations in the hands of. Judy, because as a co-sponsor she is helping to promote the event. Melanie, because I wanted to make sure she was personally invited to the shin-dig.
Talk about being in the right place at the right time! Had we not swung by or swung by earlier, we would have missed both. By arriving when we did, I was saved from running around. Thank you, Don, for listening to your intuition… see it’s not just me who is a medium. Everyone is!
With Mother’s Day this coming weekend, I have reflected on the many ways I am grateful for my mom.
Like many mothers, she was loving and supportive. I know she sacrificed for me and my brother many times. There were times she worked two jobs. Times where she would work an overnight and, despite lack of sleep, be up for us the next day. It wasn’t always easy.
Not only did she sacrifice, she was always there. As a child, she was attended each and every extracurricular activity I participated in. She was there for every award ceremony, band concert and competition. While in college, she would send me care packages a few times a month and come down to visit regularly. Then after the car accident, she was my advocate ensuring I got the best health care possible. I accredit her persistence and unacceptable of “wait as see” as part of the reason I was able to recover beyond the doctors’ expectations.
I always knew she loved me. More importantly, I knew my parents supported all my gifts and talents.
As children, my brother and I had one responsibility: Education. My parents wanted us to do well in school and learn as much as we possibly could. We could learn through travel or clubs, reading or writing, volunteer work or jobs. It didn’t matter, as long as we were learning. My mom never encouraged or pushed me to choose one activity over another. Once I decided, she was behind it one hundred percent. She did her best to make the dream a reality.
That was the case when I expressed an interest in honing my intuitive gifts. At first, she responded with a big smile. Afterwards she expressed, from the time she heard the woman in my room, she knew intuition would be in my life one way or another.
To help me, she took me to classes. In fact, she attended many classes with me! Together, we discovered more about our spirit guides, how to read auras and about the different forms of intuition. But I wanted more. And when I found the Northeast Holistic Center for Healing and Psychic Development, my mother (and aunt) did not hesitate to facilitate the education. Every other week, they would make the forty-minute trek (back and forth) to the center so I could attend classes.
When I started doing this professionally, she assisted me. And she has continued to do so. With an office in East Aurora, she watches Baby Girl once a week to lessen the burden on us. And, upon publishing my book, she was one of the first people to pre-order it. She didn’t have to. I would have given her a copy… but she wanted to purchase it.
Every day, she demonstrates support.
One could say, that’s what moms do. And each mom, in their own way does. But, I like to think my mom is special and I’m grateful to have her support. Without her support, and her intuitive genes, I may not be where I am today.
Happy Mother’s Day Mom! And, to all the other moms out there.
Last week my family said goodbye to my dear Uncle Wayne. While he is no longer here on the earth plane, we all are taking comfort in the signs he has provided the family upon his arrival to heaven. Doesn’t mean we don’t miss him, but songs have played, electronics have gone off, the electricity has been wonky, and cardinals have arrived that we all take comfort in.
Many of these occurrences were discussed as we celebrated his life. As my husband chimed in on the conversation, he commented that my uncle as well as other deceased family members were gracing the festivities with their presence. He (and I) were a bit taken aback when a few family members were surprised to hear my husband is also a medium.
Why did this surprise them? And, why in turn was I then surprised they were surprised?
While I didn’t have an in-depth conversation with them, I assume they were surprised to find out my husband is a medium due to the common perception of what a medium is. They think of someone who is “gifted” (i.e. not the common Joe Schmoe). Not only that, that person (like me) sees and actively communicates with Spirit.
I know this perception is one my mother used to (and perhaps still does) have and probably wouldn’t announce to anyone that she is a medium. Why? Because she honestly may not believe she is a medium. She knows she is intuitive, but because she doesn’t see Spirit, except in shadow form sometimes, she doesn’t perceive herself as a medium. But she does feel and sense them.
She knows when Spirits are around. She has even cultivated that talent. However, unlike a “medium” who actively communicates with them, she ignores them. For the most part. She will scold them when they are giving her grief. She also reminds them of the “rules” when certain family members are visiting so those individuals aren’t bothered.
In my book, all that lines up to one thing, she is a medium. Much like my husband.
Do they talk to them like I talk to Spirit? No. But are they just as much of a medium, yes. EVERYONE IS A MEDIUM!!
Unfortunately, not everyone sees that… We see TV shows like the Long Island Medium or the Hollywood Medium, and these very talented individuals communicate with loved ones. They are the 1% and very talented. But mediumship is SOOOOOOOOOO much more than that. But, we don’t often see that represented. Even in my very open family where I preach that everyone is intuitive and a medium… they don’t always get it. Knowing that, I am saddened to think of the individuals who sneak out to see me because their family “wouldn’t approve.”
I’m setting out to change this perception. On March 8th, I launched 100 videos in 100 days on my YouTube Channel. That means now through June 15th, EVERY DAY, I will be posting a video demonstrating what it is like to be a medium. It’s not just talking to dead people. It’s talking to your guides. It’s following your intuition and gut instincts. It’s living a life of purpose.
Why am I doing it? Because I’ve found my purpose. And, it’s scary to say that if I do it right I very well may be out of a job because I want to NORMALIZE mediumship and intuition. I want each of you to realize there is the medium waiting in you to be awakened. Not only that, I want you to realize it’s not that hard to awaken it.
People want you to think it is. They either want you to see them as special for having the ability and as a result you must go to them for answers or to communicate with their loved ones. This boosts both their ego and pocket book. Or, they want you to think it is hard so you will pay good money to have your intuition awakened and come to them for classes.
But in all honesty, it’s not that hard. What made my husband such a good medium; because while he doesn’t see quite like I do, he has become very skilled; are a couple of things:
Those three things really are what makes him successful. Faith plays in… but faith and trust come when you have the rest.
So tune in… and see my life and how you can awaken your intuition as well.
An unusual trait the females in my family share is active sleep. On our best nights’ we toss and turn, wiggle and squirm. On the worst, we punch and kick. In addition to moving all over the place, we talk. A lot. We are even known to have full conversations while still sound asleep.
This trait starts early, often as night terrors, night mares and vivid dreams as young children. My mom vividly recounts a night when I came screaming into their room, sound asleep, frantic that a snake was chasing me. When my daughter started having night terrors a few months ago (yup this has been passed down to her!), the first time my aunt witnessed it she said it reminded her of the many nights my cousin arose with night terrors.
As I said, it runs in the family. I shouldn’t have been alarmed when it was passed down another generation to my daughter.
But, as a first-time mom, even being aware that it was likely she would exhibit these, after my daughter’s first night terror I did what most first-time moms do. I googled. I read article after article trying to get a better understanding of the cause and treatment of these alarming fits. The literature suggests these disturbances are often brought on by sleep deprivation and extreme tiredness, stress, fever, and sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings.
These factors made some sense. The night terrors did start occurring more frequently when my daughter decided she no longer needed an afternoon nap. Without her nap, she has probably been more sleep deprived. Additionally, every time she stays overnight at a family member’s she wakes them with her screaming fits as she remains sound asleep.
But, as we have been tracking her sleeping patterns, we have found the night terrors occur just as frequently on days she has had a nap as days she hasn’t. And the family member’s she sleeps at, she has been sleep-overs since she was three months old, have noticed the increase as well. And we know she hasn’t been having fevers, and I don’t think she has been under any undue stress. So I have sat back, scratched my head and pondered what else might be going on? Why else might she be having night terrors? And why might they be so prevalent in my family?
It got me thinking and wondering if night terrors might be linked to intuition. The literature suggests night terrors most often occur during stage 3 non-REM or delta sleep. This is the non-REM sleep stage where dreaming does occur. It is also suggested that during delta wave sleep, a person’s deepest sleep, that one’s body heals and the individual can access the unconscious mind.
This led me to more questions… could this active sleep and the dramatic night terrors be because she is intuitive? Is she interacting with the other side? Could she be astral travelling? If she is doing these things, why (at least from my perspective) are these experiences disturbing. Wouldn’t visiting the other-side be fulfilling. All sorts of questions arise. And unfortunately for these questions, the research and literature offers no answers other than the assurance that my child experiences no discomfort.
Left with no answers and lots of questions, I’ve turned to the tools my husband and I use and I offer my clients that experience sleep disturbances. And you know what? They’ve worked!! At least a little… so here are what we are doing:
Crystals – We have loaded her room up with crystals. Fortunately, she loves her rocks and is happy to have them in her room. Which crystals have we chosen? Quartz points in the window to disperse energy, hematite to ground her, rose quartz for nurturing and infinite for healing. In our bedroom, my husband and I have blue and black kyanite for dreams and to ease anxiety as well as a salt lamp. We have also been sure to remove all amethyst from her room, because while it is great for people that want to enhance their dreams those who are already experiencing dreams it can be worse.
Grounding & Centering Exercises – To assist her in being more grounded and centered, we have been teaching Baby Girl breathing exercises, meditation and yoga. While she doesn’t do any of these for any length of time, we are getting her in the habit of using them to calm herself and release stress. At this point they are fun, and honestly I think she likes to copy momma, but they must be having some effect.
Boundaries – Since Halloween, Baby Girl has recognized the difference between the living and Spirit. As she has been interacting with them, the sage advice my grandfather provided me with has been shared with her: “Acknowledge Spirit but then tell them to go away if you don’t want to be bothered.” She simply tells them, “Stop it.” And it works. We’ve reminded her she can do that at night.
Time for Spirit – I encourage my students to take time to communicate with Spirit every day, and if possible the same time every day. I do the same thing with my daughter. Every day we take a moment to connect with our loved ones that have passed be it my grandmother or grandfather, my husband’s father, my uncle and many others. By doing that, hopefully they won’t bother her as much at night.
These tools seem to be working. Our plan is to keep it up! Hope they work for you too!!
A few months ago, in the Blog We are Living in a Spider Web, I wrote about the concept of universal consciousness. If you didn’t get to read the blog, before you go any further I highly encourage you to go back and check it out, but if you are crunched for time let me quickly describe the concept of universal consciousness. Universal consciousness is the concept that there is one universal, omniscient mind that pulses through each of us. This energy, this shared knowledge, impacts each of us with or without our recognition.
Mediums, healers, philosophers, everyone taps into this universal consciousness to grow and evolve. The active seeking of knowledge, I recognize all the time. I often forget that the universal consciousness impacts people now seeking. I was reminded of this recently, however, through observing my little girl.
Being a child of the 80s and 90s, I was raised with the concept I could do anything and I didn’t (and perhaps shouldn’t) be too girlie. That concept stuck. And upon finding out my husband and I were going to be bringing our own little girl into the world, I wanted to ensure she too could be a strong, powerful, independent woman.
To avoid the implication of outdated, female stereotypes, my husband and I took great strides to maximize androgyny. It started the moment we registered. Everything on our list was gender neutral or purple. We accepted hand-me-downs from friends with both boys and girls. We were blessed with tremendous generosity and weren’t going to be rude or picky, as our loot was full of pink outfits we asked that our family, if buying clothes, choose something in a color other than pink to diversify our daughter’s clothing selections.
We continued our efforts to present our daughter with both masculine and feminine options when it came to her toys. Knowing that she would be gifted plenty of traditionally girl toys, such as dolls, from friends. And we were correct in this assessment. We have been blessed with tremendous generosity and hand-me-downs, in fact my daughter has more dolls than she knows what to do with! To ensure diversity we asked that when buying gifts our family opt for educational and gender neutral toys.
Despite our efforts… my daughter has presented as a girlie girl. She dismisses her trucks and tool box in favor of her dolls and unicorn. She runs away from my husband and I while we try to dress her in pants and a sweatshirt, but pull out the frilly dress and she scampers over only to end the dressing session requesting a necklace. She truly is ALL girl.
Now this isn’t a bad thing. I do want her to just be herself. But, I’ve struggled to understand how, after presenting her with both masculine and feminine options, does she always choose the feminine.
My dear friend and colleague, Barbara Hallnan of Crystal Bridge Healing, had wonderful insight. During a recent conversation, she reminded me that little girls and little boys are impacted, not only by what they observe their parents, family, friends and strangers doing, but these little sponges absorb the energy of the world that surround us all.
More importantly, Barbara reminded me that despite the fact we are shifting away from traditional gender roles, that energy does still linger in the world around us. The older generation harbors it. It resides in many children’s books. In traditional cultures, it is still very present. And even those wishing to make changes to the stereotypes, they reside within them as well. So these gentle souls will feel it.
Barbara was so wise. And, although I knew this… It was a good reminder.
After reflecting on the conversation, I could not only understand why she was drawn towards “girl” behaviors but also how she knew to do certain things. For example, I rarely wear lipstick. I put it on for Youtube videos and maybe (that’s a big maybe) fancy parties. Other than that, my lips are bare. My daughter, however, found my lipstick in my drawer and knew instinctively what to do with it. She maybe saw me use it once or twice, but now EVERY DAY after we brush our teeth she asks to put her lips on. CRAZY!
It was also a good reminder, to give in and not try to mold my daughter. Let her mold herself. She has her dolls and unicorns, princess dresses and crowns. But she also has her blocks and beads, puzzles and crayons. And every once and awhile, a truck.
It is impossible to deny that the Winter Holidays are a crazy time of year. People are excited – the kids for Santa’s visit and adults to see the happiness in the children in their life and visits with loved ones. People feel hurried as there is so much to get organized and so many places to be. This frenzy causes people to become stressed. This stress is particularly hard energetically for intuitives. They feel their stress AND the stress in the universe around them.
I observe this trend every year with myself, my husband and now my daughter. To avoid this, we try to control our holiday activities and environments we enter this time of year. By doing this, we hope to avoid melt downs and discomfort.
Despite our efforts, we aren’t always successful. In fact, an outing this week DEFINITELY left a LOT of room for improvement.
We were at Vidler’s. If you have never been there, it is an adorable 5 & 10 Shop in the heart of East Aurora. The store, a maze of unique goods, is always a must hit while Christmas shopping as it has one-of-a-kind gifts for those hard to buy for people. And to be honest, it is just really fun to browse around.
Knowing that it can be crazy in there, we planned our trip early in the day during the middle of the week with hopes of avoiding crowds. The store, when busy, can be hard to navigate… and with a toddler, my husband and I wanted to limit our stress. And our planning paid off, we found the store to be relatively quiet. SUCCESS!
To further set ourselves up for success, upon entering the store our first stop was the popcorn machine. For ten cents, YES ten cents, we picked up a bag of popcorn for my daughter (and husband) to nibble on as we meandered the store. Having a distraction, something to focus on, helps when the energy of a space becomes overwhelming.
And this trick worked as my family wandered aisle by aisle, room by room of the labyrinth that is Vidler’s. Anytime either my husband or I felt her begin to become unfocused or energetically overwhelmed, we immediately offered her popcorn and reminded her to hold my hand which she did as she happily gobbled down popcorn.
The tricks worked like a charm! We made our way throughout the ENTIRE first floor without incident. At that point, we agreed we should skip the downstairs as we didn’t want to push our luck and headed toward one of the registers to purchase our finds. Baby Girl, however, was not ready to go. She eyed the stairs and started straight towards them.
My husband and I eyed each other with a lot of hesitancy. The downstairs is more cramped than the upstairs. More cramped means not only will it be harder to navigate with more items for little hands to grab for, but the number of items could be overstimulating and energetically the it doesn’t flow as nice. Recipe for disaster. But, because she was doing so well and she was determined to see the downstairs, we relented thinking… eh, what the heck.
We should have listened to our instinct. As soon as we got downstairs, she became more and more distracted. The vast number of gadgets and goods WAS overstimulating. The popcorn trick was no longer working.
Then, the telltale sign we are minutes from a meltdown occurred. My daughter started pointing at people and stating, “Ghost.” Almost everyone we passed, she stopped and would say, “Hi Ghost.”
Why is this a sign? Young children live with one foot on the physical plane and one foot in the spiritual realm. A protective bubble cast over them protects them from outside energies, including spirit. When that diminishes and they become ungrounded, they have a hard time distinguishing between those energies that exist in this realm and those in the spiritual. Hence her acknowledgement of the “ghosts.” Fortunately, as a medium, I can check in to see what she is seeing.
Seeing that she is now having a hard time protecting herself, I knew it was time to go.
But the strong-willed toddler she is, she didn’t want to. After trying to coax her up the stairs, we scooped her and kicking and screaming brought her up the stairs.
Needing to check out, as we approached the register we put her down. She took that opportunity to bolt towards the stairs. Having longer legs, I was able to cut her off at a pass.
Knowing she was beat, she crumbled crying to the floor. There she laid. Getting out her frustration… and more importantly, grounding herself.
Worried someone would step on her, I stood over her and attempted to soothe her. Telling her it was “ok to be frustrated” and to “take a deep breath” – which she did – and to “let that frustration into the ground.” Most people gave sympathetic looks, a few rolled their eyes as to say why are you letting your child behave that way. But within a couple minutes, she was calm. The tears had stopped. She had refocused herself. And, she was giving me a hug.
Without further ado, my husband marched her out to the car. I paid for our goods. We were on our way.
Her situation isn’t that different than many we all face. To avoid those meltdowns, if you are intuitive, plan ahead and avoid the crowds. If a situation does get the better of you, take that time to let go of your frustrations. I don’t encourage you to lay on the floor and scream like my daughter did, but if it means stomping your feet or walking away to take a deep breath, do it. Once you are grounded and centered, come back to the situation that frustrated you… not to stay, but to leave. I encourage you to not overstay your comfort zone. We sometimes stay at a party too long because we are having a good time, but too much of a good thing isn’t always good. Like my daughter who was loved shopping, but was overwhelmed by it all.
Take care of you. Take care of your energy. And, enjoy your holidays!
November is a month that is bittersweet for me. I love Thanksgiving. As we prepare for the holidays, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for all the blessings in my life (check me out at Instagram to view my 30 Days of Gratitude Challenge). Unfortunately, November is also tainted with a sadness. Both my grandfathers and my step-brother passed around the holiday (for the story of my step-brother, click here).
You are probably thinking, “Wow! So much death around the holidays – how sad!” It actually isn’t uncommon for loved ones to pass around the holidays, I’ll talk about that a little more in a future blog.
And to be honest, even though I grew up knowing my paternal grandfather passed on Thanksgiving, it didn’t phase me. I never knew him. In fact, the first time my mother “met” him was at his funeral. My parents were planning on travelling to NYC that Thanksgiving and announcing their engagement, but instead of celebrating the happy news they were celebrating my grandfather’s sudden death. He had been suffering symptoms while preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Convinced to see his doctor, he suffered a massive heartache while sitting in his doctor’s office.
His passing was just part of his story. It just was.
My maternal grandfather’s passing, on the other hand, was much harder. I knew him. We were close. And while he was ill, he had lung cancer, and we KNEW he was dying, we didn’t expect for him to go so quickly. In fact, being as his birthday was just a couple days after Thanksgiving and we knew it would be his last, we had a large birthday party planned.
He didn’t make it. And that was hard.
It wasn’t the concept of his death, however, that was hard. I’d had family members pass before. I’d even had a friend I’d known since elementary school pass the year before. So I was keenly aware of the concept of death and what it meant.
What was different about this was witnessed some of the things a dying person experiences that assists them with their transition.
Here is what I learned from my grandfather’s passing:
When my grandfather told me he loved me, I knew I was never going to see him alive again. And sure enough, less than an hour later, the phone rang. I remember sitting at the top of the stairs and starting to cry before my mom even got off the phone. It had been my grandmother letting us know “Al was gone.” When they arrived home he went upstairs to his apartment, she stayed downstairs to let the dog out. When she made her way upstairs, he was already gone.
He was ready. He had done the things he wanted to.
Each November, these memories flood back. They are bittersweet… and while sadness floods in at first, I am immediately reminded and comforted that we had that one last Thanksgiving. Love you Grandpa!
We are never alone. Our deceased loved ones and our guides are ALWAYS with us.
This fact has never been lost on me. As a child I remember my family talking about our loved ones being around. In high school, I knew my grandmother was with me as she would routinely turn off electronics (lights, computers, televisions – you name it) to tell me it was time for bed as I routinely burned the midnight oil. And as I have grown my business, I see my clients deceased loved ones without fail, showing up to talk to their loved ones!
Despite knowing they are always around or perhaps because their presence is routine, I sometimes forget how profound this really is. Recently, however, I have been in awe as to how amazing it is. What brought it on? I’m seeing their (deceased loved ones and guides) interaction with my daughter.
Baby Girl is now twenty-two months old. There was a time not too long ago (check out this blog) where we worried that our intuitive lifestyle was going to hinder her verbal vocabulary. We aren’t worried about that any longer. I hear many parents lament, "we wanted so much for them to start talking and then you just want for them to be quiet." This is becoming very true in my household. Baby Girl is chattering up a storm. And I now know why she spoke minimally. She didn’t want to be a monkey and just parrot what we said back. Nope. She wanted conversation – or adequately, she wanted to be able to express her needs, wants and desires. She skipped over nouns and went right to actions. Her favorites being – more, let go, and please (because with THIS one she knows her father and I can’t resist her).
But I digress, let’s get back to the conversation of Spirits always being around. You see, my daughter has taken to communicating with not only living people, but also the Spirit people. She does it in the backyard. We will be playing in the driveway with chalk or her car and she’ll suddenly become distracted by something in the yard. She’ll get up, start waving, say “hi!” and walk into the grass. My first thought is always, one of our neighbors must have walked outside. Nope. No one is there. But she is still talking and giggling. It’s only after I turn on my sixth sense that I realize it is a loved one or one of her guides.
This has also happened while having a tea party. With her little teapot, she has poured both she and I a cup of tea. BUT THEN, she’ll take and pour a third cup of tea. With a “here you go,” she places the third cup at the empty seat at her table. She’s leaving it for someone! Again, only after turning on my spidey senses do I realize it’s my dad’s grandmother.
My husband and I have become accustomed to Baby Girl’s visitors. Her sitters are still getting used to it. When picking her up from my aunt’s, I can always tell if Baby Girl has not been alone. My aunt doesn’t have to even blurt out, “Dawn… she did it again,” because her face says it all – her big eyes, shaking hands. She’ll then recount how our daughter held a lengthy and animated (she is like her mother, talks with her hands) conversation with someone – someone no one else sees.
Every time I assure my aunt not to worry. And encourage her, that even I don’t always see (without asking at least) who Baby Girl is talking to. But, when I do see… it’s always someone loving.
It will be interesting to see how this continues to develop…
My husband lost his grandmother this week.
Last week we found out she had terminal, stage four cancer. So we knew it was coming. But, we didn’t know when. Fortunately, she didn’t suffer too long and went peacefully.
Despite the peaceful nature of her passing, my husband is taking it particularly hard as it brings back the memories of his father’s passing. Don’s dad passed suddenly when he was ten in a motorcycle accident. It is a pain my husband has carried with him for the last twenty-five years that only in the last year with the help of a fantastic counselor, Frederick Marschner, has he been beginning to deal with.
His healing has been a long process as it extends beyond just his dad’s death. You see Don’s parents were divorced when his dad died and his father had custody. So prior to his father’s passing, Don and his brother lived with his father and grandmother. As a result of his father’s passing, his mother subsequently obtained custody and moved him and his brother hundreds of miles away from his grandmother and the only life he knew.
The death of his grandmother brings some of this to the surface. He is faced with going back to the place his father passed. He faced a sound in his uncle’s voice that he hadn’t heard since his dad died. He knows he’ll be seeing family he hasn’t seen since his dad’s funeral. The biggest fear, he will find himself at his father’s grave, as it is right next to his grandmother’s.
These are the typical emotional concerns any individual would face upon a loved one’s passing. In addition to this (and perhaps in an effort to not feel the grief) Don is worrying about practical issues. As you probably know, both my husband and I are self-employed. As such, neither Don nor I can just call into the office and say, “There has been a death in the family, see you next week.” Rather, we are responsible for getting our affairs in order before we leave for the services.
Looking at this week’s schedule (it was a busy one!), the prospect of having to make more than a dozen calls to reschedule quickly became overwhelming to him. This caused him begin to doubt whether or not it was worth it to go down. Fortunately, he quickly realized he would have regrets if he didn’t go. But, still trying to avoid the hassle of managing our schedules, he encouraged me to stay home.
Knowing this was a knee-jerk reaction to the amount of work that was quickly piling up, my response without hesitation was, “If you are going, I’m going. Family comes first.”
At first he didn’t accept that. He worried about the clients that were scheduled. He worried about my professional relationship with New World Gifts, WillowLight and more than anything Buffalo Underground, a group I would be offering a class to for the first time. He worried about everything.
More firmly I repeated, “Family comes first.” Followed by, “What good is my gift, be it to communicate with loved ones or provide spiritual support during times of grieving, if I can’t use it to help my family?”
He began to offer objections. But I cut him off telling him, “If my clients don’t understand that, they are not meant to see me nor do I really want to see them.”
As it turns out my clients, at least from what I can tell, have been understanding. And, rescheduling was a lot easier than my husband anticipated. Within a couple hours, most people were rescheduled as they understood that while death is the one thing in life that in inevitable, it is also something you can’t plan. They also understood that family comes first.
The gift of intuition has truly made parenting my daughter easier. From the day she was born, both my husband and I have been in tune with her. Without a tear or whimper, we’ve been able to tell when she was hungry, sleepy, needed a diaper change or wanted to play. This knowing has made her, as my aunt always says, “the perfect child”.
While I call her “my unicorn,” I doubt she is the perfect child. She is, for one thing, stubborn. But we have been lucky and I am grateful our intuition has helped us.
As of late, however, I am beginning to worry that while that intuition may be serving us… could it also be hurting us?
You see, my daughter is now seventeen months old. And she RARELY talks.
Yes she babbles. She has said “momma” and “poppa” (and apparently says these a lot on the days when we leave her with a sitter). And it is adorable when we ask her what a lion, dog, owl, cat or monkey says and she responds with the appropriate roar, woof, hoo, meow, or ooh ooh ooh.
But, when asked to talk on command. She WON’T. Rather she sits and stares at my husband or I.
Now mind you, I’m not worried that she has a hearing issue or is delayed and doesn’t comprehend what we are saying. Like I said, she has demonstrated comprehension… from (on her terms) making animal sounds, touching her body parts (she knows her belly, feet, nose, mouth, eyes and ears), showing us items when asked… she just WON’T talk. Remember I mentioned she was stubborn? And that stare she gives my husband and I is laden with a smirk that drips with the thought, “I’m NOT your puppet.”
In those moments, I’m frustrated. Probably from being tired. But then when I sit back and think about it, I ask myself, “Why would she talk when she knows my husband and I understand her without words?” With telepathy she doesn’t have to expend the energy and she is, after all, able to get her point across. It is this thought that leads me to wonder if our intuition is getting in the way.
Being able to think her desires to us works right now, within the confines of our walls and even when she is watched by my mom and my aunt – they are intuitive too, after all! Even our stand-by sitters are all intuitive and have stated that they are amazed at how easily Baby Girl communicates what she wants. But what happens when she goes off into the world outside of our safe little bubble? Not everyone is going to be able it intuit what she wants or what she means. And, what happens if because she doesn’t vocalize she doesn’t learn the speech patterns? Could she end up needing speech therapy? All the thoughts and worries that run through a first time mother’s head.
Unfortunately, short of shutting down the entire family’s intuition, all I can do is to continue to coax her to develop her language.
I’m sure, soon enough, I’ll be wishing I didn’t coax her and that she would have remained quiet for a little longer – remember, I mentioned she was stubborn? I think there is a little sass in there as well.
It was a day like any other. Except it was a Wednesday (my day off), so instead of talking to Spirit all day I was playing home-maker.
My daughter had just woken up from her afternoon nap and we were both in the kitchen. I was starting dinner, washing and putting dishes away. She was “helping.”
We were both a whirlwind of energy. I went back and forth, from the cabinets to dishwasher to refrigerator AND when I needed to drop items into the recycle bin I’d take the few steps through my “reading” room to the outside. Baby Girl was on my heels with every step.
That is until one of my trips to through my reading room. On this trip she stopped suddenly at the threshold with a panicked look. This look was followed by a whimper and then a WAAAIIIIL.
At first I thought she was just annoyed that I was spending a little longer in the backroom. During this trip one of the boys had rushed out to do his business and was taking his sweet time. It was a nicer day and he knows that the longer he is out the more likely he is to get a cookie – which is really why he wanted to go out.
Fortunately, without too much coaxing Rodney pranced back in. When he did, I scooped her up and gently comforted her while Rodney got his much anticipated cookie. And she calmed down.
That is until I put her down. Soon as her feet hit the ground, the whimpering started again. Followed by a louder cry. With each tear her face scrunched up further. And then, after asking what was wrong, her little finger started pointing at the back door and reading room.
Upon hearing the commotion, my husband appeared from the basement asking, “What’s going on? Everything ok up here? What’s wrong?”
Grateful for the assistance, for the crying had distracted me away from the pan on the stovetop where ground beef was browning, I responded… “I’m not sure.” Baby Girl however, responding by whimpering and again pointing to the reading room.
Immediately he responded, to both her and me, “Who is in the back room?”
Now it should be noted this is not uncommon for Spirits to be hanging out in my reading room. They have a tendency to show up before their reading and “wait.” I think it’s because they are excited to have the opportunity to connect with their loved ones. This doesn’t really bother me. In fact, I hardly notice them anymore. What does bother me, however, is when they come into the rest of the house or bother my family.
So with that in mind, my response to my husband was – “there is a man and two women. You know how it is. Showed up really early this week!”
With Baby Girl still pointing (she’d stopped crying because my husband picked her up), I was informed, “Well, your people are bothering her…” He then turned to Baby Girl and said, “What do you think about us asking them to leave? Want to help me get rid of them?” To which she just nodded.
Without hesitation, Don promptly walked over to the buffet, grabbed a smokeless smudge that was sitting out and started spraying it. While spritzing the spray and walking into the back room, he in his best Poppa voice stated “Ok you Spirits, it is time for you to leave. You are bothering Baby Girl and that’s not nice. Out you go!”
They must have only be three steps into my reading room and Baby Girl was giggling and laughing. And a minute later, she was back around my ankles “helping” me cook dinner as if nothing had ever happened.
That night Don and I recounted the experience. We had thought (and hoped!) we would have more time before we’d have to deal with this kind of issue. Baby Girl is only sixteen months old after all! Right now she has some verbal ability, but by no means can tell us what she is experiencing nor can we assure her that everything is going to be ok. All we can do is try to empower her.
And that’s all I can encourage any parent in a similar situation to do. Empower the intuitive child to know they are in control and they can tell the Spirits to leave them alone.
Until my daughter has a little more verbal skills, looks like I’ll be putting some more talisman up to protect the space. Might also have to be stricter with my spirit visitors.
People ask me when I’ll know if the “gift” of mediumship has been inherited by Baby Girl. It’s my belief that all children are born intuitive and instinctively aware of the energies around them. From my observations, this is the case with my daughter.
It became apparent early that she is sensitive to energy. On the winter solstice, she was carted along to a meditation I was leading. In honor of the solstice, a celebration of the darkness and new beginnings, the meditation walked those present into their own darkness and the realm of their fears. A visualization of the light around you fading into pitch blackness was used. When we got to the point in the meditation where people were encouraged to see all the lights go out and sit in the darkness of their fears, Baby Girl who was sleeping comfortably was startled awake and began screaming… was it a coincidence? Perhaps… I, however, think not.
She continues to demonstrate her awareness of the energies around her, especially those of people. The other day we were at a friend’s home for a BBQ. When their eighteen month old son fell and started crying, she did not start crying with him (like most ten month olds would). Rather, she pushed against me (I was holding her) towards him in an effort to climb out of my arms to give him a hug, pat on the back and kiss as if to say, “It’s ok friend.”
Again, could it be a coincidence? Could she be mimicking our behavior? Perhaps. My husband and I will continue to watch… but I’m pretty sure she’s in tune with energy.
Being in tune with energy is one thing, but what about Spirits you ask? Can she see them?
Well, I’m pretty sure she does…
While changing Baby Girl’s diaper one day when she was about two and a half months… the tired, exhausted and annoyed at my kicking, fussy Baby Girl me was pleased to have grandmother pop in (from ‘heaven’) to lend me, if nothing else, a loving word of support. It had been a long, tough day (Baby Girl was in the middle of a growth spurt and NOTHING was making her happy) so the soft words of encouragement were VERY MUCH appreciated. In an effort to lend a little more help, she turned to make faces and soothe Baby Girl. As soon as her attention moved from me to my little one, Baby Girl’s head snapped to gaze directly in my grandmother’s direction. Baby Girl then proceeded to giggle and grab at the air toward where my grandmother was standing.
Again, could this be a coincidence? Am I reading more into the situation that exists? Perhaps… But again, I doubt it.
So what about psychic tendencies? We won’t be able to start determining that until she can talk, right? You’d think…. But we’ve already had some instances, without words mind you, she’s let us know what’s on her mind.
For example, my dear friend is pregnant. As with any pregnancy, people like to guess what the gender of the baby is. Before she got pregnant, I was certain she was going to have a little girl. Once she became pregnant however, I changed my vote to little boy…. which was the consensus amongst folks. Not Baby Girl. The day before my friend’s ultrasound to reveal the gender, the three of us were out and we decided to get Baby Girl’s input. When asked, “Are you going to have a cousin Hunter?” Upon hearing the name, she scrunched her nose and grimaced. So we asked, “What about a Hannah?” To which she gave a HUGE grin and a giggle. At that moment, I turned to my friend and said, “Baby Girl thinks it’s a Hannah.” And you know what, she was right! The next day I received a text from my friend sharing the good news. It’s a girl.
Baby Girl was right then, and now she’s adding her two cents towards the gender of another friend’s pregnancy. She is currently pregnant with twins and we thought it would be fun to see what Baby Girl’s thoughts are, so we asked about Lili and Piper. When asked she looked right at my friend’s belly. The movement was so dramatic, we were flabbergasted. So we asked again. And she did it AGAIN. So we thought we’d try Wyatt and Dylan. She just blew raspberries. Looks like if she’s right, there are another two girls on the way. We’ll see how her skills for predicting go… either way, I think I’m in trouble!!
So… perhaps I’m a biased parent. But, it is my opinion she is sensitive… as most children are. Could that change? Absolutely…. but, not if I can help it. Now it’s just my job to nurture it and make sure she remains aware.
It always amazes me that my family continues to think they are not mediums…. here’s the latest that will make you scratch your head.
Since not all of my daughter’s grandparents live locally (my dad and stepmom live in Florida, and my husband’s parents live in Maryland), we send out a picture of the day. My aunt, who has always been like a mom to me and who adores baby girl, is included in the mailing.
My aunt is also one of our regular babysitters.
Why am I telling you this? The two came together when my aunt asked the other days while we were picking up our munchkin, “Dawn. I love the pictures you send. But, I’m curious. There was a man sitting at your dining room table in one of the recent pictures. He had a white beard. You didn’t mention him in the caption and I didn’t recognize him. Who was he?”
Knowing that my aunt doesn’t check her e-mail too often, I asked her when she received the picture she was referring to. She thought it was in the last week. When I looked back at recent pictures, there weren’t any in our dining room and definitely none with a man in the background. The closest I came to finding a picture that was what she described was one at a restaurant with a woman in the background – clearly not my dining room and not a man with a beard, but closest we could come. I showed the picture to Aunt Vickey, who thought maybe that was it.
That evening she looked through the pictures of Baby Girl and FOUND the picture. She forwarded the e-mail I sent with the picture attached telling me, “It’s the second picture.”
Now you might be thinking the story ends there. Perhaps amazingly we caught a picture of one of our loved ones who had passed. Mystery solved.
Nope. It gets better… and weirder.
There was no second picture. Not embedded in the e-mail she forwarded me. Not on the original e-mail I tracked down in my sent folder. It wasn’t on the original e-mail that my husband received (he’s cc-ed on all ‘Pics of the Day’). AND, checking my phone for pictures taken the same day the e-mail was dated, there were NO pictures taken with a view of our dining room that day OR with anyone but baby girl and the dogs.
At this point, my aunt is freaking out (and probably thinking she is going a little crazy)! Because the picture also DISAPPEARED from her hard drive. It is nowhere to be found!
So what’s going on? Why would a picture with a strange man appear to one person and then disappear? Do these things really happen?
Yup they sure do! It is what we call an apport or physical mediumship. And my thought… someone is trying to say HELLO from the other side. It might be a loved one. It might be a guide. Who it is, I’m not sure. It’s someone for her. If she was a client, I’d be telling her to keep her eyes open for other messages: it may be a song that reminds you of someone who had passed, someone you haven't thought of in years comes up in conversation, it could be anything that strikes you out of the ordinary.
Will she watch for these things? Maybe… maybe not. But the messages will be there. And she thinks she doesn’t get messages… if you ask me, this was a pretty big one.
Dawn Lynn is an EveryDay medium. She lives and breathes via her intuition, which as a fourth generation intuitive from a family of Spiritualists came easily. Her abilities became apparent in early childhood and were cultured by a supportive family. Through her Blogs and Vlogs, she wants to help you become the EveryDay medium too.