Are you enjoying the holiday season? How do you celebrate? It amazes me how over the years my preferences for celebrating have changed so dramatically.
Let’s flash back to 1999. I was a young adult in college. I LOVED crazy, loud parties. I’d go to big soirees and get all dressed up. I loved going dancing with friends. If there was a get together, I was there. And quite frankly, it didn’t matter WHAT night of the week it was. Nor did it matter what time it started. In fact, I often wasn’t heading out the door until at least 11pm.
Now… When I’m told there’s a party, the first thought that goes through my head is: “Can’t I just stay home in my pajamas?”
Knowing that I can’t be anti-social and should really make an appearance at a few events, before I determine which events to attend I ask the following questions:
Now you might be thinking, “Dawn that’s normal… you are getting older afterall.”
While age and it’s increased responsibilities of a real job and a family definitely play a significant role, I think my desire for quieter more intimate gatherings can also be attributed to my increased awareness of energies, intuition and mediumship.
Why? Because in smaller, quieter parties I don’t have to deal with as much energetic baggage. And let me tell you, the energetic baggage that people carry with them around the holidays is IMMENSE!
What is this energetic baggage that I speak of?
First, it includes Deceased Loved Ones. It has been my experience that during the holidays, deceased loved ones are louder and pushier. They WANT to get their family to know they are around.
Now that is all fine and good. Except I have a rule, when I’m not in with clients… I am OFF the clock. If I’m off the clock, no matter how hard a Spirit pushes, I’m not going to pass a message. Why? Selfishly, I feel I deserve time off. Reading is my job… there should be times when I should have just my thoughts. And secondly, just because the deceased loved one wants to pass the message doesn’t mean that their loved one wants to receive it.
Unfortunately, during the holidays Spirits tend to push that boundary a little further. The larger the crowd, the more Spirits that are pushing and the more work it is to enforce that bubble.
Along this same line of thought, YOU (my friend) may be grieving or missing your loved one who has crossed. The holidays are a time we reminisce and think fondly of our family members who have left the earthly plane. Many wish to be able to have that one last conversation with their loved one.
And then I enter the scene. We may be out to dinner. At a holiday party. On the phone. Or out shopping. Wherever we are, your deceased loved ones not far from our thoughts. It’s human nature, knowing that I do talk to loved ones, to hope that perhaps my rule will be broken. Yet, knowing that I’m “off the clock” and wanting to respect my boundaries… you don’t ask. Even though you don’t verbally ask, the body language and energy does. It’s sort of like the little kid who when a magician asks for a volunteer from the audience and he and wants to wave his arm and yell, “Pick me pick me pick me!’ but instead sits on his hands squirming left and right. You don’t say it… but I know. That can be overwhelming.
What is also overwhelming is peoples AURAS. Your aura and everyone else’s wherever the gathering is. They are supercharged by stress and emotion (good and bad). It is bouncing around all over the place, it is sticky and it is contagious. Think about it for a moment… how much more road rage to you encounter during the holidays than any other part of the year? Is it really because people are driving that much worse, or could it be because the energy just facilitates it.
Alcohol also facilitates the crazy auras. As we know, the liquid libations are often flowing during the holidays, which doesn’t always make situations comfortable for the intuitive.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a prude. I enjoy a glass of wine or heavy beer just as much as the next guy, but I also know that alcohol (especially in excess) inhibits my protection and filters as well as those for people around me. Think about it… when people drink they say things that wouldn’t normally say. I know I do. My friends love to give me a drink or two because they know my filter is down and the words are flowing. Just because I get loose lips and may be connected to Spirit, doesn’t mean it is of Spirit for the highest and best. Hence why I don’t drink when I am reading.
Similarly, I don’t like to read people who are drunk because their boundaries are down and their guides aren’t protecting them as much. Also without the filter, individuals who are drinking are throwing their auras around for everyone to see. Again, it’s overwhelming.
Lastly, this time of year fosters a CURIOSITY as to what is coming next. As a medium, in addition to communicating with loved ones, I communicate with guides and guardian angels. More than anytime else during the year, around the new year my friends and family become curious in regards to what the new year may have in store for them. And they often hope I’ll give them some wise direction. Again, because most have become respectful of my boundaries they don’t outright ask… BUT, their energy SCREAMS – “please tell me what to do!” Instead they do a tap dance…
So while I’m getting old and I just don’t have the stamina to shake it like I did when I was younger, the energy is more my deciding factor than anything else. For my friends, if I seem like I am avoiding you, please don’t take it personal… I’ll see you in January! And for those who have intuitive friends, know that them avoiding you may have less to do with you and more to do with the need to protect their energy.
Another quick tip… if you’ve noticed, most of the stress comes from energy that is bottled up and the questions that are avoided. From an intuitive’s perspective, it is always better to be blunt, open and honest as opposed to biting one’s tongue. We can always feel it… but because you aren’t stating what is going on, we don’t know what to do about it. Help a girl (or guy) out and ask/say what’s on your mind.
A few months ago, in the Blog We are Living in a Spider Web, I wrote about the concept of universal consciousness. If you didn’t get to read the blog, before you go any further I highly encourage you to go back and check it out, but if you are crunched for time let me quickly describe the concept of universal consciousness. Universal consciousness is the concept that there is one universal, omniscient mind that pulses through each of us. This energy, this shared knowledge, impacts each of us with or without our recognition.
Mediums, healers, philosophers, everyone taps into this universal consciousness to grow and evolve. The active seeking of knowledge, I recognize all the time. I often forget that the universal consciousness impacts people now seeking. I was reminded of this recently, however, through observing my little girl.
Being a child of the 80s and 90s, I was raised with the concept I could do anything and I didn’t (and perhaps shouldn’t) be too girlie. That concept stuck. And upon finding out my husband and I were going to be bringing our own little girl into the world, I wanted to ensure she too could be a strong, powerful, independent woman.
To avoid the implication of outdated, female stereotypes, my husband and I took great strides to maximize androgyny. It started the moment we registered. Everything on our list was gender neutral or purple. We accepted hand-me-downs from friends with both boys and girls. We were blessed with tremendous generosity and weren’t going to be rude or picky, as our loot was full of pink outfits we asked that our family, if buying clothes, choose something in a color other than pink to diversify our daughter’s clothing selections.
We continued our efforts to present our daughter with both masculine and feminine options when it came to her toys. Knowing that she would be gifted plenty of traditionally girl toys, such as dolls, from friends. And we were correct in this assessment. We have been blessed with tremendous generosity and hand-me-downs, in fact my daughter has more dolls than she knows what to do with! To ensure diversity we asked that when buying gifts our family opt for educational and gender neutral toys.
Despite our efforts… my daughter has presented as a girlie girl. She dismisses her trucks and tool box in favor of her dolls and unicorn. She runs away from my husband and I while we try to dress her in pants and a sweatshirt, but pull out the frilly dress and she scampers over only to end the dressing session requesting a necklace. She truly is ALL girl.
Now this isn’t a bad thing. I do want her to just be herself. But, I’ve struggled to understand how, after presenting her with both masculine and feminine options, does she always choose the feminine.
My dear friend and colleague, Barbara Hallnan of Crystal Bridge Healing, had wonderful insight. During a recent conversation, she reminded me that little girls and little boys are impacted, not only by what they observe their parents, family, friends and strangers doing, but these little sponges absorb the energy of the world that surround us all.
More importantly, Barbara reminded me that despite the fact we are shifting away from traditional gender roles, that energy does still linger in the world around us. The older generation harbors it. It resides in many children’s books. In traditional cultures, it is still very present. And even those wishing to make changes to the stereotypes, they reside within them as well. So these gentle souls will feel it.
Barbara was so wise. And, although I knew this… It was a good reminder.
After reflecting on the conversation, I could not only understand why she was drawn towards “girl” behaviors but also how she knew to do certain things. For example, I rarely wear lipstick. I put it on for Youtube videos and maybe (that’s a big maybe) fancy parties. Other than that, my lips are bare. My daughter, however, found my lipstick in my drawer and knew instinctively what to do with it. She maybe saw me use it once or twice, but now EVERY DAY after we brush our teeth she asks to put her lips on. CRAZY!
It was also a good reminder, to give in and not try to mold my daughter. Let her mold herself. She has her dolls and unicorns, princess dresses and crowns. But she also has her blocks and beads, puzzles and crayons. And every once and awhile, a truck.
It is impossible to deny that the Winter Holidays are a crazy time of year. People are excited – the kids for Santa’s visit and adults to see the happiness in the children in their life and visits with loved ones. People feel hurried as there is so much to get organized and so many places to be. This frenzy causes people to become stressed. This stress is particularly hard energetically for intuitives. They feel their stress AND the stress in the universe around them.
I observe this trend every year with myself, my husband and now my daughter. To avoid this, we try to control our holiday activities and environments we enter this time of year. By doing this, we hope to avoid melt downs and discomfort.
Despite our efforts, we aren’t always successful. In fact, an outing this week DEFINITELY left a LOT of room for improvement.
We were at Vidler’s. If you have never been there, it is an adorable 5 & 10 Shop in the heart of East Aurora. The store, a maze of unique goods, is always a must hit while Christmas shopping as it has one-of-a-kind gifts for those hard to buy for people. And to be honest, it is just really fun to browse around.
Knowing that it can be crazy in there, we planned our trip early in the day during the middle of the week with hopes of avoiding crowds. The store, when busy, can be hard to navigate… and with a toddler, my husband and I wanted to limit our stress. And our planning paid off, we found the store to be relatively quiet. SUCCESS!
To further set ourselves up for success, upon entering the store our first stop was the popcorn machine. For ten cents, YES ten cents, we picked up a bag of popcorn for my daughter (and husband) to nibble on as we meandered the store. Having a distraction, something to focus on, helps when the energy of a space becomes overwhelming.
And this trick worked as my family wandered aisle by aisle, room by room of the labyrinth that is Vidler’s. Anytime either my husband or I felt her begin to become unfocused or energetically overwhelmed, we immediately offered her popcorn and reminded her to hold my hand which she did as she happily gobbled down popcorn.
The tricks worked like a charm! We made our way throughout the ENTIRE first floor without incident. At that point, we agreed we should skip the downstairs as we didn’t want to push our luck and headed toward one of the registers to purchase our finds. Baby Girl, however, was not ready to go. She eyed the stairs and started straight towards them.
My husband and I eyed each other with a lot of hesitancy. The downstairs is more cramped than the upstairs. More cramped means not only will it be harder to navigate with more items for little hands to grab for, but the number of items could be overstimulating and energetically the it doesn’t flow as nice. Recipe for disaster. But, because she was doing so well and she was determined to see the downstairs, we relented thinking… eh, what the heck.
We should have listened to our instinct. As soon as we got downstairs, she became more and more distracted. The vast number of gadgets and goods WAS overstimulating. The popcorn trick was no longer working.
Then, the telltale sign we are minutes from a meltdown occurred. My daughter started pointing at people and stating, “Ghost.” Almost everyone we passed, she stopped and would say, “Hi Ghost.”
Why is this a sign? Young children live with one foot on the physical plane and one foot in the spiritual realm. A protective bubble cast over them protects them from outside energies, including spirit. When that diminishes and they become ungrounded, they have a hard time distinguishing between those energies that exist in this realm and those in the spiritual. Hence her acknowledgement of the “ghosts.” Fortunately, as a medium, I can check in to see what she is seeing.
Seeing that she is now having a hard time protecting herself, I knew it was time to go.
But the strong-willed toddler she is, she didn’t want to. After trying to coax her up the stairs, we scooped her and kicking and screaming brought her up the stairs.
Needing to check out, as we approached the register we put her down. She took that opportunity to bolt towards the stairs. Having longer legs, I was able to cut her off at a pass.
Knowing she was beat, she crumbled crying to the floor. There she laid. Getting out her frustration… and more importantly, grounding herself.
Worried someone would step on her, I stood over her and attempted to soothe her. Telling her it was “ok to be frustrated” and to “take a deep breath” – which she did – and to “let that frustration into the ground.” Most people gave sympathetic looks, a few rolled their eyes as to say why are you letting your child behave that way. But within a couple minutes, she was calm. The tears had stopped. She had refocused herself. And, she was giving me a hug.
Without further ado, my husband marched her out to the car. I paid for our goods. We were on our way.
Her situation isn’t that different than many we all face. To avoid those meltdowns, if you are intuitive, plan ahead and avoid the crowds. If a situation does get the better of you, take that time to let go of your frustrations. I don’t encourage you to lay on the floor and scream like my daughter did, but if it means stomping your feet or walking away to take a deep breath, do it. Once you are grounded and centered, come back to the situation that frustrated you… not to stay, but to leave. I encourage you to not overstay your comfort zone. We sometimes stay at a party too long because we are having a good time, but too much of a good thing isn’t always good. Like my daughter who was loved shopping, but was overwhelmed by it all.
Take care of you. Take care of your energy. And, enjoy your holidays!
Dawn Lynn is an EveryDay medium. She lives and breathes via her intuition, which as a fourth generation intuitive from a family of Spiritualists came easily. Her abilities became apparent in early childhood and were cultured by a supportive family. Through her Blogs and Vlogs, she wants to help you become the EveryDay medium too.