In my last Blog, What it Takes to Become a Professional Medium, I spoke about the tactics I believe assisted me in having a successful business. It is my belief that by applying these tactics and sticking to it, anyone desiring moderate success in their business will achieve it.
And I wish for that success for my colleagues and students for I’m not going to lie, my work is incredible! Having the ability to touch individuals’ hearts and souls is amazing, I wish everyone had the opportunity to do that. But, I also realize that not everyone is cut out for that. Just like not everyone can be an all-star athlete or president, not everyone has the talent or ability to become a professional medium.
Unfortunately, over the last year I have seen several individuals take the leap from practicing mediumship to doing it semi-professionally, meaning it’s not a full-time job but they are charging money for a session, that in my opinion shouldn’t be.
Feeling guilty for holding this opinion, I did a lot of soul searching. I’ve asked myself, “Am I threatened? Do I worry they will take business away from me?” To which I can honestly say I’m not. I’ve also asked as many of these individuals have been students, “Do I have an ego, and do I want to keep people down to lift myself up?” And again, I can honestly say no. Then I asked, “Am I worried they will reflect poorly on me?” To this, I had to answer YES. Why?
The reason I worry it will reflect poorly on me is due to the feedback I’ve been hearing. I’ve heard:
Every time I hear feedback from individuals like this it makes me cringe. Why? Because these unprofessional and second-rate readers water down the field and cast a negative light on the profession. Many already hold the opinion that psychic mediums are con-artists. These individuals, even though I know are coming from the right place, perpetuate that belief. Which makes me sad.
Feeling this way, there are times I really want to say something to these individuals. Which I struggle with because I honestly believe that a person’s path will take them where they need to be. Is it my place to intervene? Or do they need to have the experience of reading professionally, even if it means being knocked down, to learn a lesson?
Unfortunately, I’m not God… so I don’t know. So, unless asked specifically, I have been keeping my mouth shut.
But here are some of my thoughts for those readers who reading this worry that I might be talking about them AND for anyone who has had a reading with second-rate reader.
If you are a reader just beginning to read professionally, be aware of your personal beliefs and attitudes. They do affect the reading. You as the reader are NOT always going to like the advice you may be giving an individual. And remember the reading is NOT about you. It’s about your client. If you find your reading is full of personal anecdotes, you really need to check in with yourself and your ego.
To the new reader, DO NOT argue with a client and insist that you are right and they are wrong. Even if you are sure a situation will work out a particular way, remember the client has free will. If they choose to apply what you are saying one way, you can encourage them to think of it in another way, but DO NOT argue with them. It will leave a bad taste in their mouth. And for the client, remember that no matter how much a reader insists upon something they are saying, ultimately you know yourself better. And more importantly, you have free will. In life, it is not the steps we make or the paths we take in life that are destined, it is the lessons we learn. Lessons can be learned in a multitude of ways.
If you are practicing as a medium, I encourage you to offer evidence to prove the existence of your client’s loved one. Don’t just say I have your grandfather and leave it. Describe the loved one. Their appearance, their voice, their personality, anything that loved one can provide you. My recommendation is 12-15 items. This is more than enough for the client to feel confident and trust you. If you don’t provide this, you could be telling them anything and they have nothing to assure you two really have connected. My advice to the client, be open to what the reader is saying. Their interpretation might not be exact. Remember that communication with the Spirit realm is a little like playing the telephone game.
If it is apparent that a client is not happy with the direction a session is going. Stop. Don’t continue to try to convince them you are right. Stop and offer to end the session and not charge them. Assure them it has nothing to do with them, but that you two may not be connecting. If you are the client and you are unhappy with the direction the reading is going, stop the reader and let them know you would like to end the reading. Don’t wait until the end, at that point the reader has spent their time with you and may not have realized you weren’t getting what they were saying. At this point it is frustrating to both of you. Stop them.
NOT A DESTINATION
For the new reader, remember that becoming a professional medium is NOT the end destination. You still have a lot of spiritual growth to do. I recommend you continue to take classes, read books, expand your mind. The more you learn, the better you can become. For the client, find out about the reader’s continued growth. If it appears they have stopped training, then they may have plateaued.
That’s my thoughts. Hope this helps both the new reader and the client.
As a teacher to many student mediums and healers hoping to take their skills to the next level and run a spiritual business, I often get asked, “Dawn, how did you become so successful? What’s your trick?”
I am honored they look up to me. I also feel blessed to be able to do what I do every day. And there really is no trick, but these are some of the reasons I feel as though I’ve had success in a tricky business.
First and foremost, I tell people that success doesn’t happen overnight. I have been reading professionally since 2007. That’s almost TEN years. I can’t believe it has been that long as it seems like just yesterday I did my first paid reading out of my mother’s living room. It also surprises many of my colleagues. They are aware I have been around for some time, but because I am still younger than many of them, they find it hard to believe I have been working my business that long. But I have. And, ten years gives the business a lot of time to grow.
At the beginning, my business didn’t support a full-time income. In fact, it wasn’t until a little more than three years ago, that I jumped into it with both feet. Prior to that, I juggled my business with a full-time job. In juggling the two, it was not uncommon for me to work 70-80 hours in a week between the two. I worked a lot. Fortunately, I was a little younger, didn’t have a child and had a lot more energy.
Now that I am established, I can pick and choose when I want to work and what environments I want to work in. I have stopped doing psychic fairs due to drama and intense hours, and have transitioned to regular office hours. This is made possible by the client base I created by doing many, many, many psychic fairs, renaissance festivals and Pagan Pride events. To participate in these events required a lot of time, travel, and patience… but I did it. For a long time, I took any gig I could get to get my name out there. I’m glad I did, it paid off.
There is the adage that you must give a little to get a little. In terms of business, to make money you must spend money. Starting a business is never cheap. There are overhead expenses such as space rental or fees to participate in events. If you participate in events, there are a lot of items you will need inclusive of: marketing materials such as business cards and pamphlets; décor to set you apart from other readers or healers; and, any materials you need for your craft. In addition, you will likely have equipment costs such as a computer. Add it all up and this can all be VERY expensive. Unfortunately, this money is not made back right away. In fact, many don’t make money on their first few events. Despite that, I have found that it is important to not go cheap. Patrons can tell if you are being cheap, and it can be a turn off.
If you become a professional medium, that means that you have a business to operate. Operating a business is not all fun and games. The time spent with clients is incredibly rewarding emotionally and by the fact that at the end of it you are paid for your services. But in addition to this time, hours and hours of time are spent on activities that are critical to keeping the business running that an individual doesn’t get paid for. A rule of thumb for small business is only 30% of time is spent providing a service, while 60% is spent on marketing and 10% on operations. In my business, the 70% of time is spent returning phone calls and scheduling appointments; marketing the business which includes scheduling Facebook posts, writing content for this Blog and a monthly newsletter, filming for my YouTube Channel, etc.; and, I must keep up with my bookkeeping and accounting. Many hours are spent each week doing this work. While it doesn’t equate to money in my pocket, I know it makes a difference because my clients comment on it.
If you have read my Blogs or watched my YouTube Channel, you know the strategic planner in me LOVES goals. And I credit them with my success. The goals I set give me milestones to work towards. Rather than spinning my wheels going into many different directions, I have a clear vision and focus on what will bring me success. I’m not a jack of all trades, master of none. Instead, I focus my energies towards becoming the best I can become in one realm.
I have the support of my family and friends. My friends and family opened their homes when I would travel for events early on. My mom and aunt babysit my daughter each week so I can see clients. My stepfather who upon hearing my dreams, for Christmas purchases a class to provide me with skills and steps towards being able to achieve it. My stepmom and my dad by proxy, follow everything I do on social media and whenever I participate in a podcast tune in. And most importantly my husband. He is my rock, without him I don’t know what I would do. He returns my calls for me, implements new technology such as my online scheduler to minimize the amount of work we have, films and edits my videos, drives me to all my events, and sacrifices his own career and personal success to see my business grow. I’m so fortunate to have so many people in my life that not only support me, but believe that what I do makes a difference.
And finally, I don’t want to dismiss the importance of luck. I have put a lot of work into my business, but I have also been incredibly lucky. There have been so many times where things have just fallen into place that have made the work easy. I am blessed.
An unusual trait the females in my family share is active sleep. On our best nights’ we toss and turn, wiggle and squirm. On the worst, we punch and kick. In addition to moving all over the place, we talk. A lot. We are even known to have full conversations while still sound asleep.
This trait starts early, often as night terrors, night mares and vivid dreams as young children. My mom vividly recounts a night when I came screaming into their room, sound asleep, frantic that a snake was chasing me. When my daughter started having night terrors a few months ago (yup this has been passed down to her!), the first time my aunt witnessed it she said it reminded her of the many nights my cousin arose with night terrors.
As I said, it runs in the family. I shouldn’t have been alarmed when it was passed down another generation to my daughter.
But, as a first-time mom, even being aware that it was likely she would exhibit these, after my daughter’s first night terror I did what most first-time moms do. I googled. I read article after article trying to get a better understanding of the cause and treatment of these alarming fits. The literature suggests these disturbances are often brought on by sleep deprivation and extreme tiredness, stress, fever, and sleeping in unfamiliar surroundings.
These factors made some sense. The night terrors did start occurring more frequently when my daughter decided she no longer needed an afternoon nap. Without her nap, she has probably been more sleep deprived. Additionally, every time she stays overnight at a family member’s she wakes them with her screaming fits as she remains sound asleep.
But, as we have been tracking her sleeping patterns, we have found the night terrors occur just as frequently on days she has had a nap as days she hasn’t. And the family member’s she sleeps at, she has been sleep-overs since she was three months old, have noticed the increase as well. And we know she hasn’t been having fevers, and I don’t think she has been under any undue stress. So I have sat back, scratched my head and pondered what else might be going on? Why else might she be having night terrors? And why might they be so prevalent in my family?
It got me thinking and wondering if night terrors might be linked to intuition. The literature suggests night terrors most often occur during stage 3 non-REM or delta sleep. This is the non-REM sleep stage where dreaming does occur. It is also suggested that during delta wave sleep, a person’s deepest sleep, that one’s body heals and the individual can access the unconscious mind.
This led me to more questions… could this active sleep and the dramatic night terrors be because she is intuitive? Is she interacting with the other side? Could she be astral travelling? If she is doing these things, why (at least from my perspective) are these experiences disturbing. Wouldn’t visiting the other-side be fulfilling. All sorts of questions arise. And unfortunately for these questions, the research and literature offers no answers other than the assurance that my child experiences no discomfort.
Left with no answers and lots of questions, I’ve turned to the tools my husband and I use and I offer my clients that experience sleep disturbances. And you know what? They’ve worked!! At least a little… so here are what we are doing:
Crystals – We have loaded her room up with crystals. Fortunately, she loves her rocks and is happy to have them in her room. Which crystals have we chosen? Quartz points in the window to disperse energy, hematite to ground her, rose quartz for nurturing and infinite for healing. In our bedroom, my husband and I have blue and black kyanite for dreams and to ease anxiety as well as a salt lamp. We have also been sure to remove all amethyst from her room, because while it is great for people that want to enhance their dreams those who are already experiencing dreams it can be worse.
Grounding & Centering Exercises – To assist her in being more grounded and centered, we have been teaching Baby Girl breathing exercises, meditation and yoga. While she doesn’t do any of these for any length of time, we are getting her in the habit of using them to calm herself and release stress. At this point they are fun, and honestly I think she likes to copy momma, but they must be having some effect.
Boundaries – Since Halloween, Baby Girl has recognized the difference between the living and Spirit. As she has been interacting with them, the sage advice my grandfather provided me with has been shared with her: “Acknowledge Spirit but then tell them to go away if you don’t want to be bothered.” She simply tells them, “Stop it.” And it works. We’ve reminded her she can do that at night.
Time for Spirit – I encourage my students to take time to communicate with Spirit every day, and if possible the same time every day. I do the same thing with my daughter. Every day we take a moment to connect with our loved ones that have passed be it my grandmother or grandfather, my husband’s father, my uncle and many others. By doing that, hopefully they won’t bother her as much at night.
These tools seem to be working. Our plan is to keep it up! Hope they work for you too!!
2016 was an interesting year, to say the least! Over the course, there were lots of UPS and lots of DOWNS. Throughout it all, there have been lots of lessons. Here are a few of the most important lessons I learned.
Don’t Be too Rigid
I like a schedule. I thrive when I have goals. I love order. But, in 2016 I learned to take these when I can get them and use them as guidelines. With a strong-willed toddler, I’ve had to. With my baby girl, if it is not something she wants to do – forget it as it will be more painful if I try to force it.
This lesson has been a hard one to learn. There have been many days I cringe, want to scream "JUST DO IT ALREADY", and force the issue. But I can’t, and I don’t. And, because I don’t and instead, live in the moment, I have had amazing moments and amazing realizations.
These moments are both with my daughter, but also with my career as I have tried to be more fluid with that. I’m having fun with it and it has birthed amazing ideas that will come to fruition in 2017 (just you wait)! I’m so grateful for this.
Respect people for who they are AND try to meet them where THEY are
A friend of mine once told me, “Don’t place your standards upon another person. Rather, acknowledge who they are for both their strengths and weaknesses. Expect their strengths, but more importantly expect their weaknesses. If you do that, relationship issues will be a thing of the past.”
At the time this was shared with me, I recognized it as sage advice and heeded it. And my friend was correct, by recognizing that people are who they are and not taking their action personally, relationships were easy. For example, I worked with a woman who was sharp tongued, slightly judgmental and DID NOT like being told what to do. Several colleagues, after being hurt by her comments, asked me how it was she and I had such a good relationship and how we didn’t butt heads. I told them because I recognized that was who she was and I respected the space she needed.
Because of that respect, we got along, coexisted and were friendly. But we remained acquaintances never became friends.
In 2016, I found that I was using this trick with family and friends as well as with acquaintances. And while this tool worked wonderfully with acquaintances, it fell short with loved ones. Why? Because we weren’t making a deeper connection.
This became increasingly apparent with the relationship with my husband. This year was challenging for him as he actively worked through psychological traumas which made him at worst a bear, at best a grump. The discomfort and tension was uncomfortable. In order to cope, I used this trick. WORST IDEA EVER. Why? It made things worst.
Things got to a point we embarked on couples counseling. During one of our first sessions, our counselor Bret introduced us to the concept of Languages of Love. What we learned is that we were approaching the other with OUR language of love, not THEIRS. Soon as we understood where the other was coming from and spoke the other’s language, we were able to offer constructive (and even critical) advice to one another. As a result, our relationship strengthened.
Being aware of this concept, I was able to take it and apply it to my practice. I’ve found myself attempting to meet my clients where they are and speak to them with deeper candor. I hope this has made me a better reader.
The Tower isn’t a the WORST Tarot card EVER…
Up until this year, I have HATED the Tower Card. Why? Just LOOK at it. A tower being struck by lightening with flames coming out the windows as individuals jump for their lives onto the rocks below. The imagery alone is disturbing. See that pop up in a reading, who wouldn’t be scared?
But beyond just the imagery, the meaning of the card isn’t much better. The Tower represents sudden upheaval and tumultuous change. Great… I don’t know about you, but when I think about sudden change I think of pain and discomfort. And to me the imagery supports that interpretation.
As a result, up until this year, whenever the Tower card would appear in a reading I would shudder and I’d try to conveniently ignore it. Not anymore! In 2016, the Tower transformed (for me) from the disruptive event to the a-ha moment, the moment when everything clicks into place and an individual’s life is forever changed.
What does this a-ha moment look like? Let me use a silly example. When I was in elementary school I struggled with learning decimals. This was new to me, as I’d always been good at math, but despite my and my father’s effort, I just couldn’t get it. And then suddenly I did. I didn’t do anything different. It’s not like there had suddenly been a new way of presenting the information that demonstrated decimals to me. Everything just suddenly made sense. After that moment, I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t get it before and couldn’t not get it any longer. That moment where everything makes sense is what the Tower card means to me.
What instigated the change? Perhaps it is because in my own life I am realizing that change isn’t bad scary. Rather it’s exciting scary. I’m seeing the lessons and opportunities in life rather than the struggles, and perhaps that is why the card is evolving for me. And perhaps it is so that I can pass that excitement and empowerment on to my clients as well.
Guides are Smarter than I thought
And lastly, I’ve gained additional (if that is possible) respect for the work our Spirit Guides do for us.
I never cease to be amazed with how they step up to the plate and lend a helping hand when requested. I saw this all the time when I was pregnant with their parking spot assistance. But it was always something I thought I had to ask for, sort of like my husband… I know I have to ask him to clean the bathroom as he rarely does from his own initiative.
Believing this, I’ve often told people that if they want to manifest a desire into their life, make a list and send it to Spirit. Don’t only make a list, but make it specific. Be very clear what you want. I’ve heard stories of women who have asked for a partner, only to get a gay man to enter their life being everything they ever wanted… except the sexual attraction.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still think this is a valuable and important piece of advice. But, being too specific doesn’t allow for the universe to work its magic.
I witnessed this in 2016 when a dear friend made a six page, front and back, list of what she wanted in a partner. And her guides provided… that individual walked into my friend’s life and they had a spectacular romance, until they didn’t. There were some fundamental issues between the two that, perhaps in an effort to “fill” my friend’s order, the guides had to accommodate.
In review of that, I realized our Guides know us better than we, or at least I, give them credit. I also realized I need to trust that they know what is in my best interest. Amazingly, as I have done that, opportunities I would have missed otherwise have blossomed.
So many lessons… And in retrospect, they are simple and I should have realized them sooner. But I’m glad I didn’t, because for me it demonstrates the continued growth of my soul. And more importantly, it demonstrates that I still have more to learn. That’s why my soul is here after all.
Hope you all have a wonderful 2017. What did you learn in 2016?
Dawn Lynn is an EveryDay medium. She lives and breathes via her intuition, which as a fourth generation intuitive from a family of Spiritualists came easily. Her abilities became apparent in early childhood and were cultured by a supportive family. Through her Blogs and Vlogs, she wants to help you become the EveryDay medium too.