Mediums, healers, philosophers, everyone taps into this universal consciousness to grow and evolve. The active seeking of knowledge, I recognize all the time. I often forget that the universal consciousness impacts people now seeking. I was reminded of this recently, however, through observing my little girl.
Being a child of the 80s and 90s, I was raised with the concept I could do anything and I didn’t (and perhaps shouldn’t) be too girlie. That concept stuck. And upon finding out my husband and I were going to be bringing our own little girl into the world, I wanted to ensure she too could be a strong, powerful, independent woman.
To avoid the implication of outdated, female stereotypes, my husband and I took great strides to maximize androgyny. It started the moment we registered. Everything on our list was gender neutral or purple. We accepted hand-me-downs from friends with both boys and girls. We were blessed with tremendous generosity and weren’t going to be rude or picky, as our loot was full of pink outfits we asked that our family, if buying clothes, choose something in a color other than pink to diversify our daughter’s clothing selections.
We continued our efforts to present our daughter with both masculine and feminine options when it came to her toys. Knowing that she would be gifted plenty of traditionally girl toys, such as dolls, from friends. And we were correct in this assessment. We have been blessed with tremendous generosity and hand-me-downs, in fact my daughter has more dolls than she knows what to do with! To ensure diversity we asked that when buying gifts our family opt for educational and gender neutral toys.
Despite our efforts… my daughter has presented as a girlie girl. She dismisses her trucks and tool box in favor of her dolls and unicorn. She runs away from my husband and I while we try to dress her in pants and a sweatshirt, but pull out the frilly dress and she scampers over only to end the dressing session requesting a necklace. She truly is ALL girl.
Now this isn’t a bad thing. I do want her to just be herself. But, I’ve struggled to understand how, after presenting her with both masculine and feminine options, does she always choose the feminine.
My dear friend and colleague, Barbara Hallnan of Crystal Bridge Healing, had wonderful insight. During a recent conversation, she reminded me that little girls and little boys are impacted, not only by what they observe their parents, family, friends and strangers doing, but these little sponges absorb the energy of the world that surround us all.
More importantly, Barbara reminded me that despite the fact we are shifting away from traditional gender roles, that energy does still linger in the world around us. The older generation harbors it. It resides in many children’s books. In traditional cultures, it is still very present. And even those wishing to make changes to the stereotypes, they reside within them as well. So these gentle souls will feel it.
Barbara was so wise. And, although I knew this… It was a good reminder.
After reflecting on the conversation, I could not only understand why she was drawn towards “girl” behaviors but also how she knew to do certain things. For example, I rarely wear lipstick. I put it on for Youtube videos and maybe (that’s a big maybe) fancy parties. Other than that, my lips are bare. My daughter, however, found my lipstick in my drawer and knew instinctively what to do with it. She maybe saw me use it once or twice, but now EVERY DAY after we brush our teeth she asks to put her lips on. CRAZY!
It was also a good reminder, to give in and not try to mold my daughter. Let her mold herself. She has her dolls and unicorns, princess dresses and crowns. But she also has her blocks and beads, puzzles and crayons. And every once and awhile, a truck.