I am not shy about my occupation. I am open on social media. When someone asks me what I do, I proudly state “I am a medium.”
Observing my confidence, my students and colleagues often ask for advice on how to be comfortable enough in their intuitive skin to be open with their friends and family regarding their gifts. Offering advice is often challenging as I find myself unable to completely understand the struggle they are going through, as I have a tremendous support system. My heart aches for them as I count my blessings and try to be that support system.
I am grateful to be comfortable in my skin as a medium. Or at least I THOUGHT I was comfortable in my skin as a medium. Individual phone calls from two high school colleagues this week inquiring about readings had me question that.
Why? The thought of reading former classmates elicited a feeling of fear and anxiety. This SHOCKED me. Which led me to question: What caused this response?
Logically, these aren’t the first high school colleagues I have read. In fact, I have been blessed with the opportunity to read several former classmates.
Not only that, from what I remember of these two women albeit limited to my shoddy memory as we are not connected on social media, we were friendly but not really friends. Despite that, I remember them each being incredibly sweet and kind girls. I doubt that has changed over time.
And, why should I have fear? They did contact ME after-all. I have a skill each places value in. Not only that, from their recollection of who I was gave them enough faith to put themselves in what can be an incredibly vulnerable situation. I should be honored.
Yet, the teenage girl in me cringed at the thought of being “found out” by my high school classmates. My mind filled with memories of the awkward teen with puffy hair and big glasses. A young girl, who despite her intuitive predilections and familial support, hid her abilities from her peers for fear of mockery and ostracizing. A mockery that came, despite her efforts. Which led to more masks, hiding herself from others… and herself.
You’d think these feelings and memories would have waned over time. I graduated in 1999. In the almost twenty years since my graduation, I have had a life full of amazing twists, turns and accomplishments. I lived. I married. I have an amazing career. I have amazing friends and family. I have a beautiful daughter. I am lucky. And, I know who I am and I don’t care who else knows it.
Except those people from high school. The place where I was vulnerable and awkward. The thought of people seeing what I really am still scares me.
But it shouldn’t. And how am I supposed to grow if I let those fears swallow me whole. The Law of Attraction asserts that thoughts are things and thoughts, especially fear, can hinder one’s ability to manifest into their life what they most desire. Perhaps the “coincidence” of two classmates contacting me and causing me to recognize this latent fear gives me the opportunity to overcome it. This also “coincidentally” occurred after I finally (after years of struggling) solidified my mission and vision to my strategic plan. Planets aligning? I’d say so.
Especially if you consider my mission is to normalize mediumship. My vision; the world accepts intuition is an innate gift born within each of us. Acknowledging this, everyone embraces their gift in the manner of their choosing.
In order to work towards accomplishing this mission and vision, I have to come out of the closet. Harboring buried fears about who might discover the real me, only inhibits my ability to grow and accomplish my goals.
Here I am world. The puffy haired girl is no longer going to hide behind masks. I am a medium and proud of it. Thank you for giving the opportunity for self-awareness and the ability to continue to evolve. Excited for what comes next! And for seeing those high school classmates!!