And thank heavens, I’ve been blessed with a relatively uneventful pregnancy. As any woman who has been pregnant can attest, pregnancy is not easy but at least I have been spared the pains of intense morning sickness, constipation, weird cravings and having to run to the bathroom every hour. In fact, there were times early on when if it hadn’t been for the extreme exhaustion I would have doubted I was even pregnant.
I’ve been lucky… but there is part of me that has also been disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, I love the movements I feel in my belly and knowing that there is a life growing inside of me. But I thought, being sensitive, I would have an extra special connection with my baby and be able to hear and talk to her. I’ve been able to do it with other people’s babies, why not my own?
That could be my own selfish desire. And, I can’t deny there have been many times when she has spoken to me. She’s told me, “Don’t eat that,” “Roll over! You’re squishing me,” and my personal favorite, “Stop poking me… You won’t? Well take this” followed immediately by a sharp jab to the bladder. Each time I hear that small, opinionated and demanding voice – it is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL… but, at the same time I'm somewhat disappointed. I hoped my baby and I would have amazing, philosophical conversations and would be able to connect on so many deep levels creating an extra special bond.
When it comes down to it, I guess I have to face the fact that I’m ordinary, just like any other mom to be. My ability to connect spiritually does not give me any edge to getting to know my baby to be… I’m Mom, and baby and I will have a lifetime to get to know each other.